mr.not-so-clean

okay big daddy is not perfect.
he can be amazing most of the time, but today he was a total shit.
We had to go pick up our new car. I had to go to the dealership to sign papers etc.
so he picks me up at 5p.m in the pouring rain in rush hour traffic.
I'm pretty mellow and chatting away in the passenger seat.
He is in full-on-road-rage-mode.
It is the one place we have some serious arguments. the damn car.
he is an excellent driver, but he becomes a totally different person when he is behind the wheel.
The swearing alone would make a truck driver blush.
I figured when I was pregnant he would drive with extra caution, and be calm and in control.
No such luck.
Plenty of times I thought I would give birth in the front seat from the stress alone.
Now that we have precious cargo on board (lulu) you would think that he would just chill.
no dice.
it is infuriating.
So now we have a shiny new car, I'm looking forward to driving it,
just not with big daddy in it at the same time.
Did I mention that he is THE worst back-seat driver?
I think I might just take a cab instead,
even that would be more relaxing.
that boy is in the dog house....

zzzzzz's

sleep is such a good thing.
I love a good sleep as much as anyone.
since lulu has arrived, there has been a complete change in the sleep times around here.
duh.
the first three months were a write off. Sleep, what's that?
Oddly enough I really didn't mind.
Often times, long after she fell back asleep in the middle of the night I would just stare at her in awe.
"I actually MADE her...wow"
then after the 4th month, the lack of sleep started to catch up with me, but big daddy came to the rescue and started doing night time feedings, or early morning. Amazing how 5-7 hours of uninterrupted sleep can improve a mood.
then our little angel started sleeping from 7:30, 8ish straight through to 7 a.m...
we kept pinching ourselves to see if we weren't dreaming.
that was a good few months while it lasted.
then over the past month or so, there is absolutely no rhyme nor reason as per the time lulu wakes up and falls asleep.
I'm pretty sure it's the teething thing.
lately she won't go down until 10 p.m then wakes up again at 12 am or 3 am or 5 am and wants to play.
sheesh..I do still look at her and think "I actually MADE you" but those thoughts take on a whole new meaning at 4 am after being spoiled for months by an angelic sleeping baby.
although I have to admit, It is pretty cute when she sticks her tiny fingers into big daddy's ears and nose and starts bouncing up and down wanting to play.
but 4-5 nights in a row is another story.
Last night while I was out, (big daddy in charge) she apparently fell asleep on the kitchen floor right after her bath at 7:30!
I would have stayed home just to witness that!
(she's pretty high maintenance regarding the bedtime routine)
anyhow she slept through the night, happily chatting away softly at around 7 a.m.
could this be the end of the sporadic sleeplessness?
yah right..I wish.

mr.clean

so is there anything sexier than a guy who agrees to clean the windows?
big daddy is not normally thrilled about doing "stuff" around the house.
his attitude is: let's just hire someone.
I'm the complete opposite. I'm also very frugal.
But if I ask him to do "stuff" there is usually a mini argument, followed by "fine, fine, what do you NEED me to do?"
and "when can we just RELAX?" as he is sitting in the kitchen reading the paper sipping on a latte.
When I was pregnant he was a trooper. pitching in whenever possible.
but now that I am home with lulu I am the chief pot scrubber, toilet cleaner, bottle washer, swiffer pusher, bed maker, laundry folder, food cooker...oh and too much more to list.
Not that I mind, in fact I guess I have to admit, I kinda dig this whole house-wife, suzy-homemaker, betty-crocker thing.
As long as big daddy keeps bring'in home the bacon, I'll keep frying it up in my all clad pan.
But the past few weeks he has been home here and there during the week (being freelance and all)
and has really pulled up the ol' boot straps (or more accurately, tied up the pumas) and really started to chip in around here.
He was vacuuming yesterday, and even decided to clean all the windows!
He has never seemed foxier than he did with a bottle of windex in one hand and a roll of paper towels in the other.
Hot, hot, hot.
In fact while I was watching him through the streaked, screen-less windows I remembered how much I really loved him.
It's like I kinda forgot over the past year.
We have both been so absorbed in sweet lulu, that I just forgot how lucky I really am.
He is an amazing father, and I absolutely love watching him interact with lulu.
He is also an awesome partner. He just takes care of things so that I don't have to stress. ie.taxes...argh...
thank god for his left brain and knowing how to deal with numbers.
He is funny as hell and knows how to make me laugh, all-be-it occasionally too much, no fun to almost pee your pants..
(still working on the kegel recovery)
we have been together for almost 9 years! hard to believe. and married for almost 6.
so things aren't full on steamy in the romance department, but what new parent's relationship is?
he is my absolute best friend, and we are figuring out this whole parenting thing together.
there are ups (and mostly ups) and downs and by up I mean up at 4 a.m....
sure we bicker but nothing too serious, we eventually laugh it off, well at least when he admits I was right.
Actually that's not really true, as I have to admit that he is usually the one who is right.
(god I hope he doesn't read this, I may never live that statement down)
So today I feel extra lucky to not only have a beautiful and healthy daughter,
I have a window cleaning hotty for a hubby.
I wonder if I ask him to do some paint touch-ups I'd be pushing my luck?
1.800.collegepropainters.
what was I thinking?

mini kitchen

according to my mom when I was a baby they provided me with my very own kitchen cupboard.
I could pull out all the funky pastel colored tupperware and enamel beige & orange flowered pots and pans that my hearts desired...
sorry, just having a 70ies flashback.
I believe there is a picture of me with an olive green plastic colander on my head somewhere in one of the aqua blue tie-dyed photo-albums...
Unfortunately for lulu we can't afford the kitchen cupboard real-estate.
I need every last nook and cranny of my kitchen.
There is never enough storage space in these old toronto houses.
and that's after a complete overhaul and kitchen reno.
Besides if I let lulu go into the pots & pans cupboard she liable to crush a leg or something.
I mean All Clad saute pans are freakin heavy!
but I feel bad. What I had, my daughter should have.
I came up with a solution.
Mini pots and pans from Ikea.
they were inexpensive, and she loves them.
when I'm cooking and pulling out the "big" pots and pans,
she gets her pots and pans.
just like mommy.
it's so cute to watch her shake the pan around, is she thinking about slowly simmering a tasty reduction?
lightly sauteing delicious spring vegetables?
probably not.
I think she just enjoys looking at her reflection and banging them together as loud and frantically as she can,
that is until I pick her up and let her hold the wooden spoon that I'm using to make dinner!

no pain no gain

poor little lulu has been teething for months.
Finally a tiny tooth has appeared on the bottom left...still waiting for it's partner on the right to join him.
I feel so bad for her when she is in pain.
when she had her first needle I cried way more than her.
the second one was easier but not by much.
I know, I know, it's better than the alternative...but at that moment you just feel for this tiny little person who is all happy and smiley one minute and the next some nurse is jabbing her little legs with a dagger of a needle.
We are approaching her next round of shots and I'm already dreading it. gulp.
it must be frustrating to not be able to do anything about pain.
I give her camilla, frozen fruit to chew on, the occasional drop of tempra, but let's face it the only thing that really works is when the damn tooth finally breaks through.
well she has a long way to go, I should say WE have a long way to go.
but throughout the entire thing she keeps on smiling her cute toothless grin....

tiny fingers

so I snuck off to get a quick much needed manicure yesterday.
I've become totally neurotic about hand washing and using purell since the arrival of the wee one.
Between that and the long dry winter ,the ol'mitts have taken a beating this year.
I'm not a unicorn/ rainbow decal kinda girl, nor gel tips with a french manicure look.
I just want a quick no frills maintenance job. get rid of the cuticles and one quick drying coat of OPI-bubble bath.
I go to this great place that's always busy and pretty cheap. ($16 for a mani)
there's often plenty of women in there gabbing away.
The majority are women older than me, maybe 40-55ish.
I often learn alot about having kids while there.
I actually got the name of my pediatrician from a women there once.
I also get the scoop on the schools, kids programs etc.
yesterday I was chatting with a woman who has a 13 year old girl.
She was looking longingly at lou lou and started reminiscing about when her daughter was 11 months old.
Now she sais her daughter is entering the "moody-attitude" stage.
and it just seemed like yesterday that this "kid" was once a very sweet and innocent baby who didn't talk back or said things like:
"you're not wearing THAT when dropping me off to school are you??"
"she'll come around" I offered, knowing full well that this is just the beginning for this poor woman. I was such a little shit when I was a teenager, I still feel guilty about some of the crazy stuff I used to say to my mother.
She then reminded me to cherish Lou lou while she is so young and sweet,
And to just live in the moment and not get too ahead of myself by worrying about schools etc.
It's probably the best advice I've heard from the nail salon.
So this morning when lou lou fell asleep in my arms for her morning nap, instead of quickly putting her down in her crib and making a dash for the shower, computer, washing machine, phone etc. I just held her for an extra half an hour, staring at her pretty little face, listening to her precious little squeaks and the rhythm of her soft breath. Sniffing her little head and quietly kissing her. Trying to etch the moment into my memory for later use.
Because lord knows I'll need it when she hits 13!

baby bradgelina

so I had this weird dream about brad and angie last night.
this is good and bad.
good, because I slept long enough to actually have an uninterrupted dream.
bad, because if I was going to have a celebrity dream i wish it had been with Jake Gylenthal or maybe Clive Owen instead.
(i really think brad is overrated)
anyhow back to the dream.
so for some reason I was at george cluny's lake como estate and brad was talking to the caterers about last minute wedding preparations. angie was getting ready for the pending nuptials, and she was looking totally fabulous in all her pregnant splendor. lucky bitch. anyhow, I can't remember exactly what happened other that lots of famous guests and helicopters flying overhead. Then flash to the birth of "prince pitt" yes folks, you heard it here first...I dreamt this adulterous love child to be a boy. then I woke up. I can't remember "the birth" but once awake, I started thinking about the whole thing. Will she follow madonna and Brittany's lead and grab a quick C-section and hop on her plane and dash off to who knows where?
or will she go au natural like Gwyneth or kate hudson? somehow I can't picture her screaming "I CAAAAANN'TTTTT!!!!! or get it OOOUUUTTTTT!!! or worse, It feels like I'm going to POOOOOO!" but my money's on the latter. She's a tough broad.
and will brad be there to cut the cord? will she get the dreaded stitches "down there" or a nasty hemorrhoid that will only feel better with a weeks worth of stitz baths..who really knows?
who really cares?
well I obviously did since I had a dream about it.
they're just people just like me. well... minus the money, fame, power and flawless bodies.
actually big daddy had a couple of beers with brad while he was shooting a movie here in canada, and said that he is a really nice guy and very down to earth. great. add super nice and down to earth to my list of flawless character traits.
but one thing is for sure, they are in for a memorable and exciting year ahead.
I think having a child is one of the great equalizers in life.
rich, poor, famous or just living happily anonymous.
having a child is a life changing experience.

what goes up.....

so a couple of months ago we had to take the plunge and put up the ol' safety gates.
it was hard to do as we had just finished doing renovations on the house and replaced all the wood work on all the staircases and banisters.
but you gotta do what you gotta do.
these gates give me a certain amount of peace of mind. But now lou lou has discovered how to go up the stairs.
should we get more gates? big daddy has been trying to teach L.L. how to slide down. she hasn't ventured further than the third step, but I know more are coming. hmmm what a conundrum.
we also have a big heavy coffee table with super sharp corners. I vowed I wouldn't go crazy and child proof everything in sight, but when she wacks her head constantly into one of the sharp corners, I cringe.
so we picked up the corner bumpers. which she promptly removed and started chewing on.
then the tiny fingers went exploring the electric sockets...well almost, until I gasped and scared the poop out of her.
Poor little thing, I thing the fright i caused her was worse than an electric shock.
so I guess this is just the beginning of many bumps and bruises to come. I can try my best to keep her out of harms way, but I guess I can't child proof her from life.
speaking of what goes up must come down.
on my way downtown yesterday I saw one of my mommy friends up in my neighborhood walking with another mom.
normally this wouldn't be a big deal to me, but we had tentative plans for wednesday (loosely) and it didn't end up happening.
I left a message and said let's try for next week instead. I heard nothing back. i figured she's busy, baby's sick or what ever.
then I see her on the Thurs. in MY hood. which is odd because she doesn't have access to a car, and I always go down to her neighborhood which is on the other end of the city. I felt like I was being cheated on! I'm being stupid I know, but it was weird to think that she would make an effort to come uptown for someone else and not me.
we were friends pre.baby and our bambinos are close to the same age. two combinations in my friendships that are rare. I want to continue our friendship, but maybe...."she's just not that into me".....sigh.
I guess that's life.
or maybe I'm just being paranoid.

my little dumpling

so big daddy had a day off today. such a nice treat on a weekday, especially for my little dumpling,
who has serious daddyitis these days. So adorable. I love seeing the two of them together.
So after the three of us had a nice session of coffee and book reading in bed,
I hit the gym. Now normally I just do the elliptical for cardio for 30-40 min. then hit the weights for 30-40 min. or so,
or at least until I stop thinking about the muscle group I'm torturing, and start thinking about what's for lunch.
did I mention I'm a bit of a foodie?
but today I thought I would try something new. I'm feeling adventurous these days. new season, fresh starts etc.
so I tried a class called "NIA" a sort of Brazilian dance, marshal arts, yoga fusion.
It was interesting to say the least. I was trying to get into it and have fun, but during the entire class I kept looking in the mirrors and thinking that I have absolutely no rhythm...and god I'm fat! so instead of feeling great that i went to the gym and tried something new, I ended up feeling blah.
but big daddy came to my rescue and showered me with nice compliments...well maybe not "showered", but told me that I am NOT fat and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself, and that it's good that I'm FINALLY trying to take a little time for myself (even though it's only a couple of hours a day) he's so supportive. I'm one lucky gal. (hi big daddy, I know you will probably end up reading this)
so any-hoo..we couldn't figure out what to do today. It's a cold windy day in T.O. and it's march break. The galleries will be packed and annoying. didn't feel like the usual suspects re: shopping-yorkdale,bloor, bayview, distillery, queen.....
Too cold and windy to do any antique shops. well not THAT cold but didn't feel like having to bundle the dumpling.
we needed a change of scenery.
so we ended up at Pacific Mall.
I used to live a few blocks from china town (back in the day) and never really ventured north of Bloor,
but since we moved uptown we discovered a whole new china town (there's several in T.O)
china town north rocks! way better dim sum and asian grocery stores.
going to Pacific mall reminded me of past trips to hong Kong or Bangkok. It's like a mini Siam square.
We were specifically looking for eye glasses, there is a great selection of eye wear like (prada, ck, d&g etc.) for half of what you would pay at say rap on college or spectacle on queen west..
the dumpling was loving all the neon lights, hello kitty booths, shoe stores with lots of shiny plastic bright colored pumps, she was probably thinking "wow, mommy only has black and brown shoes, I've never seen her wear bubble gum pink stilettos" she was almost salivating (although she is constantly salivating as she is currently teething) in the eye wear stores, as she absolutely loves to rip big daddy's glasses off...constantly.
people were so nice to her, and kept saying how pretty she was, and commenting on her eye color. She was loving all the attention. we sat down in the funky food court (decked out with red paper hanging lanterns, rock waterfall and gold fish pond) and had some steamed shrimp dumplings, and a bowl of PHO. I fed the dumpling some rice with chop sticks and she loved it. (she's just moving on to more solid food instead of just pureed baby food)
it's so exciting for us to watch her try and experience new things each day, especially when it comes to food.
did I mention I was a foodie?
so at the end of the day I felt really great about living in such a culturally diverse city like toronto, and exposing the dumpling to new and exciting things within it. Especially when it comes to food! so all in all a really fun day,and I almost forgot about feeling like a fatty..well except when I was trying to estimate how may calories in shu mai???

shop until you want to drop

shop until you want to drop

so the weather is nice, and it reminds me that all I have in my closet is wool and lycra.
and last spring-post baby, I didn't really rush out to get myself gussied up with a new wardrobe. In fact I kind of purged my closet, got rid of most of my size 4/6 stuff, knowing full well that if I ever fit into them again, they will be long out of style.
so I figured new baby, new body, new life, fresh start.
I ended up with alot of empty hangers. but my motto was-simplify.
and now almost one year later I am no where near sz.4...sigh...
and I have no clothes. well barely any clothes that make me feel good.
when I do go shopping for clothes, I end up buying new stuff for sweet lou lou,
who is way more fun to shop for.
so I end up coming home empty handed with the exception of several shopping bags with baby gap written on them.
I did drag myself out to bloor yesterday, determined to get something...anything.
After wasting far too much time sweating, struggling and swearing in tiny change-rooms, I ended up with a single black cotton v neck sweater.
pathetic.
I won't even be able to wear it in 4-5 weeks because it will be too hot.
but all was not lost.
because I did find the cutest rain coat and hat for lou lou....

the first course

so this is my first foray into the world of blogs.
I love reading them, especially martini for milk.
scarbie doll is hilarious.
It's become something of a habit,
wake up
feed baby
have coffee
check email
check weather
then read all about the adventures of scarbie doll (among others)
it's strangely soothing as a new mom, knowing you're not alone and that you share some very similiar experiences
with complete strangers.
so I figured I would give it a whirl.
the bambino is almost 11 months now.
It's been a great experience so far.
we have been blessed with a very happy and healthy baby, and I'm pretty grateful for that.
she's a good sleeper and eater (thus the name of the blog) so no complaints.
she is however starting to get the itch to socialize more often.
if she even catches a glimpse of another kid she goes berserk. A slight exaggeration, but my mommy guilt kicks in and I wonder if I'm not providing enough interaction with other kids for her.
when she was 3-6 months we did a mommy/baby yoga class.
she seemed to enjoy it and excelled at upward dog.
then we moved onto music class from 6 months to now and she really loves it.
she plays a mean kazoo, and is awesome on the empty traveling toothbrush holder (which sounds exactly like a flute)
she claps and is doing her little wiggle dance these days.
we walk every day and go out as often as the weather permits.
I'm personally not a big "joiner" and enjoy spending time on my own.
so I'm not part of any mommy group or anything like that.
I have very few friends with kids (although a few are currently working on that)
so it makes it a bit challenging to find "lou lou" some new baby buddies.
now that the weather is improving, hopefully we'll "hook up" at the park.
although from what I can see in our new neighborhood, it appears to be mostly nannies with kids during the weekdays,
and I don't speak Filipino (tagalog), so making new connections could be tricky.
positive thinking.
but today is Sunday,
papa bear is home today, and lou lou is probably getting hungry.
we are heading down to our old "cool" neighbourhood (pre baby) to have brunch and maybe check out some galleries,
looking forward to that.
Petite Dejeuner du jour-rice cereal, pureed banana apple strawberry, milk.