chesnuts roasting on an open fire...

Hard to believe this was taken exactly one year ago today.
Not too much has changed since then.
Lulu is still curious about chestnuts.
Only now she tries to offer them to the squirrels in the backyard.
That sweater still fits, but I no longer have to roll the sleeves up.
She looks pretty much the same to me.
The other day she said to me "mommy you don't want me to grow?"
"I can be your baby forever?"
wonder where she got that crazy idea? ;
As much as it's hard to say good-bye to babyhood/toddlerhood, I do love having my sweet little girl.
I'm amazed by her each day and there are times when I honestly can't get enough of her.
Her vocabulary is probably the biggest change to date.
Over the holidays especially, it's been so sweet listening to her chatter away.
We took her to the zoo today and on ride there, while big daddy and I were attempting an uninterrupted conversation, Lulu pipes up in the backseat "'scuse me mommy"
"yes sweetie" for the 42nd time.
"um um um um um...I love you"
sigh....how great is that?
oh yes and how could I forget?
Those sweet words were followed by "are we there yet?" for the 73rd time.
not that I was counting.

can we say water retention?

When I woke up this morning I noticed that it hurt to make a fist.
Not that I was making a fist because of any anger issues.
Life is pretty good in fact.
It's just that my fingers resembled ten swollen Vienna sausages.
Then I slowly made my way into the washroom and noticed my face looking a bit puffier than usual.
Hmmm...maybe it was the large Saki I had while out for sushi on boxing day.
Or perhaps the two mid afternoon mojitos I had at the neighbours earlier in the day.
I couldn't say no...even though I usually reserve mojitos for a mid summer night.
Why wait until june? it's the holidays after all.
or maybe it was the cranberry & pear Bellini's we had on Christmas morning.
Or perhaps the Absolute Ruby Red on Christmas eve, or the two glasses of wine with dinner, or the Bailey's on the rocks as a night cap.
did I actually just say night cap?
The point is, I can't believe how much booze can be consumed during the holidays.
Not that I'm exactly a tea total-er throughout the rest of the year, it's just that it's so easy to feel like having a bit of holiday "cheer".
Obviously I wasn't the only one feeling this way, given the huge line ups at LCBO.
At least I haven't been totally abusing my body- I have made it to the gym a few times and we have been bundling up and going for nice long (sobering) walks and I'm at least trying to avoid too many fattening foods.
well with the exception of the trifle that I made for dessert on Christmas eve.
It wasn't great.

should have made the rum and date puddings with warm pouring cream (pictured above) that I made last year.
They were much better.
Then again, keeping with my theme-rum does seem to make everything taste better.
Anyhow, I plan on hitting the gym in the morning and trying to detox a bit- well that is until we have some friends for dinner on the weekend.
Ah yes, then there's New Year's eve..
then after that I am so on the wagon.
All I can say, is that my liver and I are very glad the the holidays only come once a year.
until then..cheers!

pretty in pink

I just finished writing a big long post about how I'm not a really big fan of all the hustle and bustle surrounding the holidays.
But after reading, I hit delete.
who really wants to read a bunch of bah hum bug Christmas bashing?

On a more positive note...Lulu had her first Christmas concert and was pretty funny.
She was yawning throughout most of it and was...well quite animated.
It was also really nice to meet some of the other parents at her school, seeing as I've never really had the chance before.
I'm looking forward to trying to be a bit more social in the new year and hopefully getting together with some of them.

Speaking of the new year, I've already started my "new year's resolutions" list.
One of them is trying to be more positive (thus the reason for deleting my original post) another is to try to be more social.
When I look back and compare last year's holiday season to this one, I've come to the sad conclusion that we are not nearly as socially active as we used to be.
I had every intention of throwing a few swank dinner parties or maybe even have an open house some weekend...but I just ran out of steam.
I'm not sure why...well maybe it's that having a two year old really kicked my ass this year.
Most of the year was spent in a sleepless state and this doesn't leave much energy to entertain.
yes yes..positive...
Anyhow things are looking much brighter.
Lulu goes to bed early and stays there most nights.
I'm starting to feel like I'm catching up with myself.
does that make sense?
I spend so much time with Lulu that I often forget what I want.
like getting together and cooking for my friends.
I love being a mother, but sometimes it's nice just being me.
I had the great fortune of having the day to myself and even though I was stuck in traffic, white knuckling it in the mall parking lots, sweating in my winter coat, dying to pee and waiting in long line-ups while Christmas shopping, I had a really nice day.
I got to think.
I got to people watch and not be in mom mode saying "don't touch, look only, stay close, hold my hand, do you have to use the potty, don't touch, put that back...."
That in itself was a real treat.
even being alone in the car stuck in traffic was quite relaxing.
loud music of my choice. check.
heated seat. check.
herbal ginger tea. check.
hell it was practically like being in my own little Volkswagen spa.
anyhow, I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, other than that It's much easier to be positive when I'm feeling positive.
and when I've had some time to myself.

On a completely unrelated topic...
Big daddy is out for the evening at a Christmas party (at least one of us is feeling social) there's really nothing much on t.v. but Pretty In Pink happens to be on.
I had the soundtrack back in the day and I also thought Andrew McCarthy was super cute.
In fact I will admit to really liking this movie.
hey it was 1986...so sue me.
Watching it tonight, I can't help but to laugh...sure it's overly dramatic..but ya know what?
I still like the music and even though I've seen it a bunch of times it's still entertaining.
Duckie is still funny, James Spader is still a complete ass and well...okay Andrew McCarthy is still kind of cute.
I have it's a Wonderful Life recorded as well as a bunch of other holiday classics but hey what's more festive than a little OMD, New Order, Psychedelic Furs, Echo and the Bunnymen and some seriously puffy hair?

let it snow let it snow....

I've always been a big fan of snow storms.
good thing I live in the "great white north" koo loo koo koo koo kookooo kooo....
my tribute to Bob & Doug.
there's something so beautiful about watching all the trees covered in big white fluffy snow flakes.
The drama of it all.
there's also something kind of fun about layering up, putting on the most ridiculously fury warm snow toque and heading out for an adventure...even if it is only is to shovel the driveway or pull Lulu on her toboggan down the street to grab some groceries and a hot chocolate along the way.
Everything seems so still, so fresh so...well winter.
Only winter doesn't officially start until next week.
Looks like it's going to be a loooong winter if it's already looking like Kapuskasing outside downtown Toronto in early December.
The only thing is...well....I already have cabin fever.
Nothing like being cooped up with a two and a half year old (on antibiotics due to yet another ear infection) that kind of sucks the life out of me.
I'm all for baking cookies, making home-made Christmas cards, reading book after book, playing hide and seek (oh there you are in the closet with your pink flashlight!!! what a surprise) again and again....but it kind of feels a bit daunting, knowing that there is another three+ months of this.
I'm finding myself looking at the clock far more often than I do say in...October or June...
Is 4 p.m. too early to have a glass of wine?
lord help me, I was even eyeing the Shmirnoff vanilla vodka in the freezer today while rummaging around for dinner tonight.
hooray for frozen turkey meatballs!!!
Am I becoming the annoying wife who calls the office (studio) everyday at 4ish asking (pleading) what time do you think you might be home tonight?
I do love the winter. honest.
I am a home body after-all and love the idea behind getting cozy and hunkering down on a cold winter night.
Only...well I need to get out.
If only I could get my car out of the driveway..

ho ho ho

Last weekend we paid a little visit to the big man in red.
There were no line-ups, soft mellow Christmas music playing in the back ground, no bossy elves anxious for their smoke break telling the kids to wait their turn, just a calm and soothing Mrs. Clause gently coaxing lulu to come over and sit on Santa's lap.
Where did this small Christmas miracle take place you might be wondering?
Believe it or not- Downtown Eaton Centre (or whatever it is now officially called) upstairs at the Bay on a Friday night.
Seriously!
Lulu was a little bit apprehensive at first, but after a few minutes she got comfortable on Santa's knee, told him she liked his nice soft velvet suit and that all she wanted was a cake for Christmas.
yup. a cake.
no dolls, DVD's or toys in general- just a cake.
Santa laughed and gave big daddy and I a look that said "is this kid deprived or what?" ho ho ho.
So I'm off the hook- no trips Toy's R' Us this year, just need to pop into William Sonoma to pick up one of these instead.
Or not...perhaps a little stop at a local bakery might be the ticket instead.
I'm sure we still won't be able to resist a trip or two to Master Mind Toys or Mables Fables for a few little stocking stuffers though.

check it

I don't normally do this...but I have to admit, I really love this story that I produced.
Mostly because Lulu is in it and had so much fun and I think the shots turned out quite nicely.
We shot this on a very hot day In August btw.
So if you haven't seen this month's issue of Today's Parent Magazine, pick up an issue.

another year....

I remember a time when I couldn't wait for my birthday.
cake, candles and celebrating with friends and family.
Or those birthdays when I actually couldn't wait to get another year older.
Imagine?
Like 13 (woo who! an official teenager), 16 (drivers licence), 18 (cocktails in Quebec anyone?) 19 (legal drinking age)
21 (rolling rock in Ellicottville NY whoopee)
but somehow I can't seem to excited about getting another year older.
something not so amazing about turning 37.
Besides I'm pretty sure I can drink everywhere on the planet-
except maybe in Libya, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Quatar, and Sudan.
Though I'm not planning any vacations to any of these places any time soon.
Big daddy and I had a nice weekend planned- an afternoon at the spa and a nice dinner out.
But Big daddy was sick as a dog all weekend so Lulu and I went to my parents instead.
I felt bad leaving him all sniffly and feeling crappy, but I'm sure we would have been more of a hindrance to his getting better than if we had stayed home.
Besides Lulu was sooo excited to see her grandparents after not having had seen them for almost six weeks.
My mom, lulu & I ended up having a nice spontaneous lunch at Hillebrand Winery.
It was exactly what I was in the mood for.

spending the day with my two favourite gals.
My lunch was really good- as usual.
I especially loved the wild mushroom salad with truffle oil and sheeps milk fresh cheese.
yum.

and wine at lunch is always a good thing.
Lulu was really well behaved, considering I really didn't bring my usual restaurant bag of tricks.
crayons, puzzles, etch-o-sketch, mini books.
so instead she insisted on buttering our bread and sipping mint tea.
best birthday present ever.
We got snowed in, which in some ways was fine, because big daddy said he needed more quiet time.
So while he was vertical on the sofa sipping neocitrine we spent the day at
The Great Wolf Lodge.
What a trip that place is.
Not sure if I could handle more than 24 hours there, but Lulu was in heaven.
We drove back today, had a nice weekend- was sad big daddy felt so sick and couldn't join us.
so that's it. my birthday so far in a nut shell.
nothing too exciting.
And though I'm not exactly thrilled to be reminded about getting another year older, I am glad that I have such a great family.
Especially my mom who is really the best, and my sweet lulu who seriously didn't stop talking the entire drive home.
Including her special version of "happy birsstday to mama" happy birsstday to mommy"
"I love her I love her...Happy birssthday to mommy"
What more can a girl wish for on her birthday?