july bliss

Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.
-- Sam Keen

Freedom

Mel Gibson said it best whilst clad in a kilt with blue warrior paint smeared across his face in Braveheart when he shouted "FREEDOM!!"
and no not while he was being pulled over for D.U.I in L.A. or in a drunken craze on the phone with his soon to be ex-wife.
Talk about a man with a temper....yikes...

Anyhow back to freedom- or more specifically- MY freedom during the month of July so far.
Lulu went to camp Grandma & Grandpa last week and had a great time.
Big Daddy & I had almost six full days of childlessness.
Our longest stretch to date- and I must say- long overdue.
It was a really great break for all parties.
Last week it was so great to just take a stroll around the neighbourhood holding hands after dark.
We went for some really fantastic meals at a few restaurants I had been dying to try out.
I also read a bunch of great books-such a treat! stay tuned for some book reviews soon.
But just having some down time was so fantastic.
It makes such a huge difference.
Sometimes it takes being apart to realize how much you love someone.
Our someone being sweet Lulu of course.
Who btw- is back to being as sweet as can be.
She's in camp for the next two weeks from 8:30-3:30 and once again I have so much freedom.
I am so not used to this.
I'm trying to catch up with things and starting to feel creative again as a result.
Such a great feeling and a real bonus that I have a very talented photographer at my disposal to collaborate with when time allows it.
I don't have any camps or anything planned for the month of August- not that I want to think that far ahead- so I'm really trying to just embrace this quiet time and appreciate it as much as possible.
Because in a few short weeks it will be back to camp Mommy 24/7.

As much as I love my little bean- it's so great to have a breather so that I can appreciate her all the more.
Rested momma= happy & more patient Momma & daddy- which in turn = happy and better behaved Lulu.

road tripping

I am dying to go on a road trip.
Not entirely sure where- but I just want to get in the car and drive.
I grew up taking road trips.
I think we pretty much covered most of Canada and The United States in the back of our '77 Oldsmobile station wagon when I was a kid.
Faux wood panelling on the sides and all.
I loved that car.
My brother and I were most likely camped out in the back part of the wagon on our sleeping bags, breathing in a combination of fresh air from all the windows being down and my parents Matinee special milds blowing in from the front seat.
Seat belts, what seat belts?
My brother and I would encourage my dad to "GO FASTER DAD!!" over the winding roads and hills and get up on our knees in the back pretending that we were on a roller coaster.
Hard to believe that we ever did anything like that now that we live in a world of uber car seats and safety regulations.
Not that I'm knocking the new way of life (preservation) but I do find myself pining for those good' ol days of being so carefree.
One of the parents at Lulu's camp this week asked me last minute if I could drive her daughter home, and I said not a problem except that I didn't have an extra booster seat- and she said, don't worry about it, we do it all the time.
Sure it was only a few blocks, but still, I totally felt put on the spot.
What if I get pulled over? or worse, get in an accident?
Statistics do show that most car accidents do tend to happen close to home..
I am a law abiding citizen after-all....
What would you do?

But I digress..
Back to my road trip down memory lane.
My parents really did go with the flow when we were kids, and as a result we had the opportunity to have some really great experiences.
We would just jump in the car and go.
Travelling by car is all about the journey, and not necessarily the destination- right?
Try telling that to a little person in the back seat asking "hooooowww much faaaarrrrrttherrrrr??????"
Lulu has never been in the car longer than 3 hours, and I have to admit, her constant chatter was a wee bit grating at the best of times, so I wonder how we would survive 7-10 hours of driving.
How did my parents ever deal?
Okay now that I think about it, I do recall several threats of "YOU TWO BETTER KNOCK IT OFF OR I WILL PULL OVER!!!!!" coming from my dad in the driver's seat.
How he managed to drive one handed and reach back and catch us with the other hand still amazes me to this day.
I can't even reach a juice box that's dropped on the floor and still keep my eyes on the road at the same time.
Ah the fantasy is always better than the reality I guess.
Back in the day there were no such thing as built in DVD players in cars- look out the window kids- the world is your oyster!
GPS-I loved reading maps and following along with my trusty red pen
Seat belts (see above)
itunes - had to love the crackle of the a.m. radio stations, or if you were a high roller an 8track player-I hope they play John Denver-Take Me home Country Roads again!
Those were much simpler times.
Or were they?
Maybe I do need to take a cue from my folks and just "go with the flow"
and maybe just get in the car and go.

Or if Big daddy has his way..Leave on a Jet Plane....

the blame game

When I wrote my last post I was feeling so proud of my little lady- Lulu.
This one...not so much.
Lulu has always been a good natured kid- a bit sensitive, likes things a certain way- but pretty good for the most part.
Or at least as good as a five year old can be.
But over the past few weeks something has changed.
She has done a few things lately- and acted out in ways that make me feel far from proud.
On the contrary- I'm quite shocked and embarrassed by her behaviour lately.
Her last T-ball game of the season wasn't one of her finer moments, that's for sure.
Won't go into too much detail, but lets just put it this way- who knew T-ball was a full contact sport?
We had a play date with a friend last week and once again- not too impressed by her behavior.
Nothing physical happened- but her overall attitude wasn't something I had really seen before.
It was her way or the highway- and she certainly had no problem being vocal about it.
We went to friends for a BBQ on Canada Day and she did something that I am having a hard time getting past.
Again- won't go into too much detail- but I was completely mortified and really really upset by it.
I'm really trying to figure out if this is some sort of phase she's going through.
And if so, when will it pass?
Is this normal for 5 year olds?
Are these habits that she picked up in school?
Or is there something deeper bothering her?
Or worse....is it me?
Am I the cause of this problem? Maybe we are spoiling her or letting her get away with too much?
She is an only child after-all, and as much as we tried to not to let it happen, she has become the center of our universe.
So when that's not the case with her peers, maybe that's becoming a problem for her?
Who knows?
I pride myself on being pretty strict though, especially when it comes to manners, and how to treat others.
Big daddy & I try to be consistent with her and for the most part have a "united front" when it comes to most issues with her.
Physical aggression isn't something she has been exposed to- here at home at least, so I have no idea where this has come from.
Maybe this isn't as big a deal as I am making it out to be- but when you put all these incidents together it's upsetting.
At least to me.
I want my sweet gentle little girl back.
Both big daddy & I are working on things with her and hopefully with a bit more consistency with our discipline we will get past this "phase"
Oh lord- please let it be some sort of phase that is derived from frustration and not anything more serious.
No one wants their kid to be "that kid"
That must sound terrible.
I just feel so responsible for every thing that Lulu does.
Especially anything bad or less than perfect.
I need to get over this, I know.
I told a friend about the Canada Day "incident" and she kind of laughed and said "you should see what my kids are capable of...
Don't worry about it- move on- these things happen."
It's advice I'm trying to listen to...trying.

Oh and the entire weekend wasn't a bust- we also went to some other friends for dinner on Saturday and Lulu played so well with their little girl and was excellent, so all was not lost.
Maybe I'm being too sensitive about all of this.
I just want to make sure she is happy and well adjusted- especially in social situations.
Or maybe it's time to write about something else other than my daughter all the time.
she really has become the center of my world.
Maybe that's half the problem