leaves are falling

I must confess I haven't really been feeling very bloggish these past few weeks.
Kind of ironic seeing as it's "blogging month".
Who came up with that anyhow?
Things are good though, and life is sweet.
A few random ( a.k.a.boring) things going on in my life:

~decided to chop off all my hair. no more ponytails. short and sassy.
I guess I am happy with the cut, it's been quite a few years since it was this short, but I'm digging it.
I feel neat and tidy.
Spiffy in a 1950's housewife kind of way. especially since these are everywhere and I love to accessorize.
Though I was a tad concerned this morning when Lulu said I looked a bit like a "guy".
hmmmm....not exactly the look I was going for...
oh well.

~my parents are travelling through Italy and not only am I jealous, but I'm really starting to miss them.
I would have laughed hysterically if someone told me that I would miss my parents after they had been gone only a couple of weeks back during those horrible teenaged years.
my how things change.
It's not that I see them that often, but I really miss just picking up the phone most days and having a chat with my mom.
I'm so glad they are having fun and I wish them well, but I am looking forward when they get back.
and man do I wish I was somewhere in Tuscany at the moment.
hell I would even be happy to go to College St. (little Italy) for dinner.

~ after years of scrubbing my own toilets I finally caved and agreed to get a cleaning service once a week.
Big daddy claims it is more of a marriage saver than just someone to clean the pee off of the floor.
I must say it's a nice treat and I was starting to get used to the idea of coming home every Monday afternoon to a spotless house.
This is so hard for me being the neat freak that I am (and I'm also super frugal) but I guess big daddy was right and it is a good thing.
only bummer is that yesterday when I got home, the bathroom floor was ruined with some harsh chemical spill on the new heated marble bathroom floor.
ummm- remember the part about being careful not to use anything but Method and all natural cleaners in the bathroom????
so now we have to get the floors redone.
which totally sucks.
I also feel really bad for the girl who does our cleaning. I just hope she doesn't lose her job.
maybe I should go back to being the main pot washer/ bottle scrubber around here.
or not.

~okay this is going to sound so monotonous but Lulu is so bloody sweet these days.
I feel like we have turned a corner and she is being soooo good.
almost no meltdowns or temper tantrums. I can actually reason with her. gasp!
I have to say she is so smart as well.
I am amazed at how well she speaks.
Not to brag...but how can I not? But she seriously speaks as well as any four year old at the park.
yet she is still only two and a half.
I know I know...I shouldn't compare.
She definitely has the gift of gab.
which is wonderful, but hopefully won't land her next to the teacher's desk like it did for me when I was a kid.
only time will tell.
Now if we could only get her to stop coming into our room every-single night at 2 a.m.
argh...

~ I have to say, there are many times that I wished I lived in the States. (especially when it comes to Target and J.Crew ;)However, November is not one of those times.
How do ya'll deal with thanksgiving AND Christmas so close together?
Flipping through all my favourite food mags and it's turkey turkey everywhere.
Which is awesome, except that you have to do the whole thing all over again in a few short weeks.
or maybe this isn't such a bad thing.
Is it?
any thoughts?

~speaking of the holidays...each weekend seems to be booking up as we get closer to the holiday season.
There are so many fantastic things going on around town. and now that Lulu is at an age where she really gets it, I can hardly wait to take her to all the festivities happening from now until Jan 01.
we might even try to brave the Santa parade this weekend...
Only every time Lulu sees Christmas decorations in a store she sais "mommy it not Christmas yet, it not cold yet! there's no snow!"
True. but I'm sure that will change soon.
In the mean time I'm happy to deck the halls while raking the leaves.

~T.V. couldn't not mention the idiot box seeing as this is where I seem to find myself more evenings than I care to reveal.
However I will share a few of my favourite guilty pleasures.
Prison Break. Last night's season finale did not disappoint. but who the hell is "the company??"
30 Rock. okay could this show be any funnier? The green episode last week was one I had to watch twice. hilarious.
The Office. Always funny and I can't get enough of Dwight.
Top Chef~ I'm a food network junkie, this show is one of my favs at the moment. Well that and The Heat and Fink.
I wish I had teachers like this guy when I was in high-school.
Lucky kids.
Oh and Jamie's Chef was a bit of a tear jerker too.
Big daddy loves when I watch Giada's Everyday italian.
is it me or do her tops keep getting lower and lower cut?
Then again, if ya got it- why not?
how does she stay that skinny while eating all that Pasta??
Dirty sexy Money. Lovin' it. it's like a modern Dallas only everyone has great hair.
Then again remember when everyone wanted hair like Krystle Carrington?
I can't remember the last time I watched a movie. any suggestions?

so that's about it for me.
Nothing too wild and crazy happening, just enjoying a nice November groove.

losin' my religion

It's a little intimidating writing about topics like politics or religion.
I don't ever want to offend or piss off any of the people who might be reading my blog.
But I gotta keep it real right?
so today's sermon is all about what religion means to me.
I'm a bit of a recovering catholic.
Spent my childhood going to church at least once a week sometimes even twice.
(went to a catholic grade school) my parents were both taught by nuns and priests.
My brother was an alter boy.
I fooled around with several alter boys.
you know what they say about catholic school girls ;
Eventually I convinced my parents to let me go to a public High school. whew.
One of the first classes I enrolled in was a world religions class.
Our big project for the year was to attend ten different "types" of services throughout the semester and choose one, and write an essay about that particular religion, and have a guest speaker come in to talk to the class.
Loved it and it was one of the few classes that I actually got a really good grade in.
One girl even got a Wicca priestess to come into the class and talk about paganism.
For me church was always something that felt forced upon me.
Unnatural.
all that standing, kneeling, sitting repeat a dozen or so more times.
It was always chaos trying to get ready on a Sunday in time and dressed appropriately.
I often felt like falling asleep and had no idea what the prayers were all about.
I dreaded going to confession. Sitting in a scary dark closet like room talking to a man behind a curtain thinking up "sins" seemed ludicrous to me.
not to mention just plain creepy.
by the time mass was over I was starving- as we "fasted" before hand each week.
What can I say my parents did what they knew growing up.
Eventually we stopped going as teenagers.
save for the holidays.
alleluia!
fast forward twenty years.
Haven't been to church aside from travelling to look at cathedrals and the odd wedding.
Married to a Jewish man.
when it comes to religion I'm not really sure where I fit in anymore.
I love celebrating all the Jewish holidays and I often get more enthusiastic about them than Big daddy does.
I just identify with the sense of ritual and tradition.
I've been to synagogue a couple of times.
It was interesting but not for me.
I chose not to convert.
So where does this leave me?
Do we need to "belong" to a religious group in order to be spiritual?
I don't think so.
But it is kind of nice.
So when a friend of mine (hi c) was singing a solo in a United Church Choir on Sunday I decided to go.
I took Lulu with me as Big Daddy was away for the weekend.
I have to say it was such a lovely experience.
The singing was beautiful.
Lulu was fascinated and was well behaved and sat listening quietly.
It was peaceful looking at the sunlight streaming in through the stained glass.
The sermon was interesting and relevant.
Overall a really nice way to spend a Sunday morning.
I may not go every Sunday, but I'll definitely go back again (especially to hear my friend C sing...what a beautiful voice!!)
It's probably good for Lulu to experience all kinds of worship.
We have friends that are Muslim, Jewish, Christian, Hindu and Buddhist and atheist.
Mormon- not so much. No offense.
I'm so happy that we can all sit together and share our ideas and beliefs.
how lucky am I that I live in a country where this is not only possible but common practice?

amen.

ray of sunshine

Today was the first time in a while that Lulu and I went for a long walk outside on a beautiful sunny fall day and were not in a hurry or running errands.
somehow the autumn seems to have escaped me this year.
fortunately mother nature has taken her time with the cooler temps and colourful leaves so there is plenty to enjoy hopefully for a few more weeks.
it felt so nice to just walk and breathe. deeply. (and clearly without congestion) in what feels like a long while.
It's amazing how just taking several deep breaths can help restore the soul.
I can't believe how quickly September and October slipped by.
Two of my favourite months on the calendar were spent running around like a crazy woman and not actually having a chance to embrace and enjoy them.
Life can feel so hectic at times.
I honestly don't know how mothers with more than one child do it.
Now that Lulu is feeling better I feel like I can take a deep sigh of relief and relax and start enjoying life a bit more.
speaking of sunshine.
while out for dinner last night we set Lulu up with her usual crayons and paper and she drew a perfect yellow sunshine, rays and all. Big daddy and I were so proud watching her meticulously draw. she loved the praise, then announced that "I an artist"
That a girl. getting in touch with her creative side.
she really does love drawing and painting (then again, what kid doesn't?)
I feel like a broken record, but man, she is just over the top cute these days.
And could she be more affectionate? countless kisses and hugs all day long.
she melts my heart.
so focused.
so adorable.
so lulu.

came down the gutter....

on a piece of bread & butter......
I'll spare you the details, but needless to say the plague that entered our house two weeks ago finally decided to make a dramatic exit on Halloween.
sheesh.
not fun at all.
my poor little Zebra was only allowed to eat white rice, white bread and bananas all day.
no candy.
she was a good sport though and was all smiles as per usual.
I'm also finally feeling a little bit better after a really bad cold & flu and also very very relieved that a rather involved job I was working on is finished.
It was fun to work on, but a bit challenging while caring for my sick little gal.
that's life as a mom though.
I'm very glad that it's November.
nothing too crazy happening, and hopefully we can spend some quality time at home together as a family getting warm and cozy.
oh and finally catching up on reading my favourite blogs.
it's been a while, looking forward to seeing what everyone has been up to.

little bug

Is there anything worse than a sick child?
poor Lulu had a doozy of a virus and ear infection all week.
She's on the mend..finally.
But what a hellish week it was.
I'm just so grateful that for the most part she is healthy and resilient.
My heart goes out to those parents that aren't so fortunate.
I really can't imagine.
It was a bit of a wake-up call and reminder of how precious she is to me.
just feeling her tiny body burning up with such a high fever and watching her moan in pain while her little eyes were glazed over, broke my heart.
Not to mention made my maternal instincts really kick into high gear.
I don't think I have slept more than 6 hours total since Saturday.
but thanks to our (flawed) but pretty amazing health care system, we got into see our pediatrician immediately and a dose or two or amoxycilin she is almost back to her usual sweet and tenacious self.
Now if only I could just get over this damn cold....

Kooza

well long time no blog.
things have been fairly busy around here at casa-petitegourmand.
but big daddy & I have a weekend to ourselves and are enjoying every minute of it, so I don't want to waste too much time in front of the computer, when we can be out and about doing things that are so much easier when you don't have a two and a half year old to chase after.
I booked big daddy a massage first thing yesterday and then we decided he needed a little bit of retail therapy.
so we loaded up on some new fall threads (if the weather ever cools down enough to wear them) I must say I love dressing up big daddy.
he usually puts up a fuss when it comes to trying things on and gets frustrated easily with sizes, scratchy material blah blah blah...but yesterday we had some success and found him a bunch of things that he loved.
handsome devil that he is.
I was just happy getting a new lipstick and shimmer powder from Bobbi Brown (the make-up artist not the cracked out singer dude)
we also managed a relaxing lunch here.
and sat and enjoyed a latte at a coffee shop afterwards.
and also grabbed some last minute tickets to see Cirque de Soleil.
It was as always, very entertaining.
It blows my mind what the human body can do.
not to mention all the great lighting and stage effects.
had two long deep sleeps in a row and honestly I feel like a different person.
ahhhhh.
that's not to say that the first thing I did when I woke this morning was to call my mom to see how my sweet lulu is doing.
poor thing has a really bad cold and was really sick the day before she went to my parents house.
but she seems to be doing fine, told me she loved me a dozen times and blew kisses into the phone.
sniff sniff..
maybe we should pick her up a day early?...
or not.
lots planned for today.
just big daddy & I.
we need this time alone together to re-connect.
it was so nice to walk hand in hand again and remember why we are together in the first place.
speaking of which...


is that guy picking his nose behind me??
nice one.

Midlake

my new favourite song.
or if you prefer this version.
it's one of those songs that sounds great really loud and while driving.
preferably fast and along a winding, tree lined road~ie. rosedale valley.
my personal favourite driving route in the city.
what's your favourite song du jour?

it's a new day

so all was not that bad last week during "the visit".
There were some highs and some lows, but I'll try to focus on the brighter moments rather than the darker ones.
Lulu was really amazing with her grandparents. very affectionate and loving.
I was really impressed since really, she has only met them a few times.
we managed to fit in a fair bit during the time they were in town.
we ate out a lot.
probably a bit too much, as Lulu was in desperate need of a normal dinner at home by the end of the week.
as was I.
On Saturday we took the in-laws to Dim-Sum at the Pink Pearl down at the Harbourfront.
Originally we were going to bring them to China Town, but we figured they might enjoy a view of the lake instead.
The food was good and the view was lovely.
Lulu was so so well behaved. I was so proud.
I think this was her sixth time eating out in a row and she sat so quietly.
45 minutes without a peep.
what a girl.
so after we ate we took a walk along the water and heard some drumming coming from the outdoor stage.
just our luck a free performance by some Japanese drummers.
It was such a great distraction.
Lulu loved it.
Then on our way out we noticed that it was a special day for kids.
With crafts and all kinds of interesting things for her to do.


Lulu was in heaven.
pipe cleaners, markers, clay and Lego!!! whoopee!
If you missed it there is another one on December 15-16.
Lots of fun for the whole family.
well except maybe picky and tired grandmothers...
I'll spare you all the negative details.
Like I said I'm trying to focus on the positive.
but all in all what a great day.
we even manged a swim at the in-law's hotel which was nice.
Lulu is a little fish and has absolutely no fear of the water.
must sign her up for swimming lessons soon.
must find more flattering bathing suit for me.
we actually spent thanksgiving with both sets of grandparents.
It was interesting to say the least.
they had only met once before, ten years ago when big daddy and I first started dating.
It was about a 30 minute meeting and was fairly uncomfortable for both big daddy & I.
you can't get more opposite than our parents.
anyhow, dinner was decent and nothing several glasses of wine couldn't help smooth over.
So I'm glad it's all over with and we can move forward from here.
No more family visiting for a while. whew.

thanks

I always choose a photo that I think would best describe how I'm feeling or what pertains to my post.
Today I'm at a loss.
Can't find one that would even begin to illustrate what the past week has been like.
I will say, that I'm sure most people experience that point of no return from time to time.
That point where everything is magnified and feels even worse than it probably is.
That point where you feel like bursting into tears on the drop of a dime...and you do.
That point where nothing seems to go according to plan.
That point where it feels like everything is spinning out of control.
That point where you feel so completely frustrated by your child, then only to feel completely guilty for feeling that way in the first place and not being there for them in body & soul 100%.
That point where you feel like getting in the car and just driving. and driving. and driving. and not letting anyone know where you are going. with no particular destination other than not. here.
That point where you know you have to pull it together. not just for you, and your family but because you just have to.
That point where you get caught in the middle a wild thunderstorm and see that flash of lightening and feel the crash of thunder and feel completely in tune with the universe.
That point where the sun comes back out and you feel like- hey..it's going to be alright. It was just a bad storm and now it's over.
That point where you wake up and feel like everything is going to be okay.
That point where you realize how truly thankful you should be for the people who care most about you and who you hold closest to your heart.
That point where you look at the clock and realize that in 23.5 hours your mother-in-law will be back on a plane and headed home.

a little on the heavy side....but hey that's my week in a nutshell.
Very thankful it's over.
and very very thankful things don't feel this way very often.

happy thanksgiving.

dancing tutu

Well the day has officially arrived.
the day my in-laws fly into town.
I'm hoping for a nice visit with them.
we get along really well and bonus- they are staying at a hotel!
(there are some definite advantages to living in a small city house.)
But really it's all about lulu hangin with her "other" grandparents for the week and having a good time and bonding with them.
and heck I might even see if they are up for a little baby-sitting while they are here.
they are here to see Lulu after-all, not me.

speaking of Lulu...
I signed her up for a ballet class.
what a joke.
not so much ballet-per say. more like chaos with a bunch of 2-3 year olds.
the first week the class was full (12 kids total) this week only half showed up.
and most were crying and refusing to participate.
can't really blame them as they crank up really bad "Barney music" and just ran around the room.
who wants to dance to that?
not my Lulu.
She flat out told me she doesn't like the music.
then proceeded to turn off the stereo. oops.
"it too loud mommy- I don't like it!"
She also hates the show and always asks me to "turn it off"!
A very proud moment as a parent.
when we dance around our house, I'm a bit pickier when it comes to what we listen too.
But ballet- in my humble opinion- would be better accompanied by some soft and soothing classical.
Like perhaps a little Tchaikovsky- Swan Lake, Sleeping Beauty or The Nutcracker??
just a thought.
but I'm too chicken to say anything.
maybe I should.
besides, maybe there's some sane or rational reason for exposing kids to really really loud Barney music first thing on a Monday morning..
wonder what it could possibly be?
Maybe the kids are just too young for dance "lessons" and need to just have fun expressing themselves.
either way it is totally worth it being able to see her in that outfit.
too too cute.
The grandparents are going to melt.

oh and speaking of grandparents...
while at Nortown picking up some Matzo Ball soup and an assortment of other kosher goodies today
(okay so I'm totally kissing ass and sucking up to my in-laws)
this woman who works in the plaza asks me how old Lulu is on my way out.
harmless question.
um two and a half.
Oh I have a two year old too.
then she follows us to the car and gives lulu a plastic orange grocery bag for trick-or-treating.
I had my arms full with a big green bin for my groceries.
does it look like we want a plastic bag lady?
and besides- it's not really smart to give young children empty plastic bags...
but I politely said thank-you. great..uh huh. yup okay.
she kept following us asking me all kinds of questions.
why is the car seat in the middle and not on the side, what kind of car seat is it? does lulu go to day-care?
do I work? what do I do? what are my hours? do I live near by?
mean while, I was trying to make sure Lulu doesn't get hit by a car in this busy parking lot, and hurry the hell up so I could get home and feed her and make it home in time for her nap.
well that and I wanted to get the hell away from this lady.
At one point she was blocking my way and I couldn't get into the driver's seat.
I actually had to say okay- I have to go. can you move please?!
I think she was just "slow" and probably meant no harm. but then again, who knows?
I do know that it was super irritating.
Even lulu was suspicious.
"why that lady put her head in the car mommy?"
"who that lady?"
"drive fast!"
good idea Lulu.