bossypants

I love female comedians.
Well actually I love most comedians, with the exception of Andrew Dice Clay, and that guy with the really annoying voice...Gilbert Gottfried. That guy is so not funny and super annoying.
Anyhow it feels so good to laugh especially when the jokes are clever and the timing is just right.
Life can be so serious, and every once in a while you just need a good chuckle.

I just finished reading Tina Fey's Bossypants and loved it.
It's the perfect antidote to the February blahs.
I laughed throughout the book.
Tina is so clever and hilarious.
I love her honesty, sarcasm and self deprecating sense of humour.
If you haven't read this book, you should.
It will make you feel happy.
Or at the very least have you crossing your legs so you won't pee your pants.
Girl power!

These are a few of my favourite quotes from the book..

"sleep when your baby sleeps."
Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there?
Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless.

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it's done well it looks great and when it's over done you like like a crazy a-hole.
Unfortunately, most people don't do it well. I find the fancier the fashion magazine is, the worse the Photoshop. It's as if they are already so disgusted that a human has to be in the clothes, they can't stop erasing human features.
"why can't we accept the human form as it is?" screams no one. I don't know why, but we never have. That's why people wore corsets, neck stretchers and powdered wigs.
If you're going to expend energy being mad about Photoshop, you'll also have to be mad about earrings.
No ones ears are that sparkly! They shouldn't have to be! You'll have to get mad about oil paintings- those people didn't really look like that! I for one am furious that people are allowed to turn sideways in photographs! Why can't we accept a woman's full width?! I won't rest until people are only allowed to be photographed facing front under a fluorescent light.

The Mother's Prayer for it's Daughter
the entire chapter (like the entire book) is bang on and super funny, but here's a few of my favs.

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither the Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

When the crystal meth is offered, may she remember the parents that cut her grapes in half
And stick with the beer.

Lead her away from acting but not all the way to finance. Something she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes.
And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I'm asking You, because if I knew, I'd be doing it, Youdammit.

Grant her a rough patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short and adulthood is long and dry humping in cars will wait.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit, I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord,
That I may see her lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 am, all at once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.
"my mother did this for me once" she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby's neck. "my mother did this." And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental note to call me.

and finally...

What Turning Forty Means To Me
" I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do"
oh boy can I relate to this one..

So if you need a good laugh, or a pick-me-up, then do your self a favor and pick up a copy of Tina's book.
You won't be disappointed.

Happy V-day

Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January. ~Jim Gaffigan

hope your day was filled with extra kisses and love.

older and wiser

The other day I was in the express line at the grocery store (story of my life).
You know, the one that says 8 Items or less.
I had 10. I know. I'm one of those people.
Or at least one of those people when every other line is super long and I'm in a huge hurry.
But in defense of myself, two of the items were 2 for the price of 1 so that doesn't really count does it?

Anyhow there was an older gentlemen behind me and I apologized for having slightly over the amount and explained that I was in a rush to do the after school pick-up.
He was so sweet and joked that the beauty of retirement is that you no longer have to rush to anything.
He also said he had a daughter around my age and that she's always in a hurry, working and looking after her daughter and that she's always so busy.
He also said he felt sorry for my generation because of all the rushing around we do and stressing about so much more than he ever had to.
He said that he thought that technology has robbed us of our freedom and privacy.
And that these days we have too much choice, too many "things".
I know, all this introspection in the 2 minutes we were in the express line!

But I couldn't have agreed with him more.
In fact these days I find myself fantasizing about finding a time machine and going back to 1950.
When stores were closed on the weekends and families just simply spent time together.
There weren't 800 channels to choose from, no computers, no such thing as youtube, facebook, twitter and whatever else sucks up your free time.
Kids didn't have endless amounts of "play-dates" or themed birthday parties or the multitude of after-school activities to choose from.
Don't even get me started on the housing prices..
Heck even the fashions back then were just so much more simple.
Then again, I guess not too much has changed since then in some ways..

Anyhow, this is now and that was then and no amount of complaining about it will make any difference.
Evolve or die I guess.
But that's not to say that I'm going to try my best to do less rushing and do more living in the future.

Oh and is it weird that I almost wanted to ask for that elderly gentleman's number so I could meet him for a cup of coffee?
Something tells me that he has a whole lifetime of interesting stories to tell and plenty of time to do so.
Only I was in too much of a rush..

well that, and yeah, that would have been weird.

snow fakes

It's hard to believe that we are half way through winter and I think I have shovelled once.
Yup, just the one time.
I think I've also only had to brush the snow & ice from my car windshield once.
Lulu has been able to toboggan at our local hill, once.
Mind you, she kept hitting muddy patches of grass along the way...
Anyhow I'm not complaining.
I love how pretty snow looks when it first falls don't get me wrong.
And I love how quiet everything seems after a big storm and the drama of it all.
There's something about hunkering down and watching it all pile up.

But what I don't love is all the lingering dirty mounds of icy snow that cuts parking on our street in half.
Salt stained shoes and boots.
Wet mitts, socks and snow pants and the worst is perpetually wet floors at the front door.
Unshovelled side walks.
Just the overall mess in the city during the winter I could do without.
But that's life in the great white north.

So this year in anticipation of a typical Canadian winter, I geared up.
I got super dooper warm coats for everyone. Chelsea included.
extra hats, mitts and scarves, just incase half end up in the lost & found.
Boot trays, extra door mats, stock piled the hot chocolate.
We are set people.
We are ready for snowmagedon 2012.
Bring it.
Only something tells me it's not coming.
The new snow blower has been sitting the shed collecting cobwebs.
This morning I woke to the sound of robins and the smell of spring in the air.
I opened all the windows, turned down the heat and realized that in only 6 weeks it's March break!

Wiarton Willie might have a better idea as to what's to come of winter 2012, but my prediction is that it's not.
We'll see.
but for now I'm loving it.

and yes, I'm talking about the weather yet again.
Life is pretty exciting these days let me tell you....

under the weather

The one good thing about getting sick is that it forces you to slow down.
Or in the case of this latest virus- completely grind to a halt.
At first I was feeling resentful, after all, I had a full week planned and lots going on.
Not to mention that this is virus # 7 since the start of school in September. But who's counting?
Great I'm stuck inside. Again.
Fortunately the weather was on our side, being rainy and kind of dreary.
The perfect kind to snuggle, sip homemade chicken noodle soup and just rest and recover.
I know, I complain constantly about being sick, but for once, I'm trying to find the positive in all this excess mucus.
Okay the mucus not so positive...but being stuck at home with my girl isn't the worst thing in the world.

The last few days have kind of forced me to think.
Really think.
About life, how quickly it flies by, the fragility of it all, what I still want to accomplish, who I want to surround myself with and how I can be a better mother.
Lord knows there is always room for improvement in that department.
After a bit of reflection, I was reminded of how lucky am I that it's me who gets to take Lulu to the doctor, rub her back, read her stories and give her the extra comfort and love that she needs when she's not feeling well.
And hey there's always the Internet to keep you busy while being stuck on the sofa all day, right?
After sifting and sorting through cyber space, I came across so many new and inspiring blogs and got reacquainted with some that I had forgotten.
I feel kind of rejuvenated, and maybe even a little inspired.
Being forced to stop, slow down, and breathe (albeit with extra effort due to congestion) has helped to recharge me.
I have all kinds of creative ideas brewing and look forward to get some new projects started.
Sometimes life has a way of giving you signs and nudges you in directions that you might have overlooked otherwise.
I guess you just need to slow down long enough to take notice and do do something about it.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
Wayne Dyer

edited to add: Okay, so after 12 consecutive days of having to cross my legs so I won't pee my pants from coughing so hard, I give in. I'm Miserable.
If only I had done more of those kegel excercises in the second & third trimester..argh..
Currently on antibiotics for an inner ear infection & bronchitis. Add in chronic severe headaches, nausea and sinus pain = one extremely cranky momma.
Trying to be positive...trying really really hard...but finding it increasingly difficult due to far too much Phlegm & other unpleasantness.
Calgon take me away!....

gung hay fat choy

I love celebrating the beginning of a new year.
Whether its' Rosh Hashanah, the Chinese new year, or "New Year's New Year".
It means the chance for new beginnings and also a time for reflection on the previous year.
A reminder of what to be grateful for, what new goals to set for yourself and just an overall sense of renewal.
What's not to love about that?
So in honor of my brother and his family in Asia we have embraced the Chinese New Year whole hearted this year.
Lulu went to the Lunar festival on the weekend here and made lanterns, crafts, learned calligraphy, and saw a cute puppet show from Taiwan.
Of course we had to go for dumplings and our favourite noodles after the show here.
Yum...it's our happy place.
We were supposed to go skiing but opted to stay close to home and enjoy all that this awesome city has to offer.
That, and guess who's sick again?
First Lulu and now me.
We seem to be on a 2 week sick rotation this winter. Good times.
Anyhow what are you going to do aside from slurp back some nice, hot medicinal Chinese noodle soup?
ummm could go for some right now.
Alas, my ginger lemon tea will have to suffice.

So being the year of the dragon, it promises be a lucky one.
Let's hope! (especially when it comes to good health)

Gung Hay Fat Choy

like riding a bike

So we finally bit the bullet this winter and decided to outfit the entire family with all new ski gear.
All I can say to that is, Cha-Ching $$$.
Ouch.
Who knew how much things had gone up in price since the nineties?
Anyhow we have been hymning and hawing about it for a few years now so I'm glad we finally got around to purchasing new skis and all the cute accessories that go with them.
And I have to say it was worth every penny.



But in all fairness Lulu really hasn't expressed any interest in hitting the slopes (save for tobogganing) until this year.
We tried last year but she just wasn't ready.
I don't think big daddy or I started skiing until we were both around 9 or 10 years old, so she's already got a head start on us.
Then again I saw a ton of little mini people (as in 3 years old) on the hills.
They were all so cute and SO Fearless!
Lulu is much more cautious, and that's completely okay by me.
I never like to push her into anything until she is ready.
With the exception of bed time. I'm ruthless when it comes to that.
It's non-negotiable around our house.
Some nights I practically push her into bed. Literally.

So we ended up going up north for the weekend, stayed at The Westin which is always fun.
They are even dog friendly so the whole family got to enjoy.
I could have completely done without the minus frickin' 25 degree weather though.
I had hot shots in my boots and mitts and was pretty close to shoving a few down the back of my ski pants.
Why is it that the older you get, the colder you get?
I totally don't remember ever being that cold when skiing as a teenager.
Then again, that might have to do with the wine skin stashed under my bright Kelly green Ispo Ski Jacket.
Oh I looked cool people...so very cool....;
It was all fun and games until "someone" fell and broke their ski horizontally at the binding.
Not mentioning any names or anything...
Lesson learned.
Nothing but hot chocolate while hitting the slopes from now on.

Anyhow it was super fun and a great way to spend the weekend.
Lulu and big daddy even took a dip in the outdoor pool and hot tub.
I chickened out and opted to sit by the fire with Chelsea and read my book instead.
I love that Lulu is finally at an age where we all get to do things as a family that is fun for everyone.
I LOVE six.
Six rocks.
I just wish she could stay this age forever.

And did I mention how happy we are that she is totally over playing princess?
If I had to wear one more tiara I might have gone off the deep end.
Then again I did like it when she dubbed me "Queen Mommy."
I kind of miss that part actually.
Either way I'm pretty proud of my little princess and how great she was, especially for her first time on skis.

heavy heart

I've been debating whether to write about this or not, but I feel like I just need to.
It's certainly not what I would have liked my first post of 2012 to be about.

Unfortunately during the holidays one of Lulu's classmate's mother was killed.
It is tragic and absolutely terrible.
She was a loving mother of three children. Our class parent and an overall good person.
It's a complete shock to our entire community.
I see all her emails in my inbox and I can't even imagine hitting delete.
Her life has been snuffed out.
Three children no longer have a mother.
The worst part is the manner in which it all happened.
Horrible tragedy is an understatement.

Lulu knows that her classmates mommy died.
I've kept the main details from her.
Regardless of all the news trucks in the neighbourhood.
We've kept the T.V. and Newspapers out of her sight where ever possible.
She made this classmate a card and said that she feels so sad for him and his sisters.
I'm not really sure what else to say or do.
Definitely not something I've ever experienced before.

The really sad part is that the week before all this happened, the mom emailed me to say that her and the kids made special cookies and that they each were allowed to pick one person in the class who is always nice to them to give one to.
Lulu was really impressed and thrilled with the special treat and to be chosen as "the special friend".
I'm not sure what compelled me to take a photo of it before she decided to eat it.
But I'm so glad I did.....

farewell 2011

As I look back at 2011 the word that comes to mind is pretty clear.
Mom.
Or more accurately "momma."
My life has pretty much become all about Lulu. At least for the most part.
And although I never thought it would happen to me, I'm completely okay with that.
Being a SAH mom is really such a blessing.
Geez, it only took me 6 years to completely embrace this...
Ironic, considering that I'm going to try to work more this year now that Lulu is in school full time.
Better late than never I suppose.

I love that I've been able to go on all Lulu's school trips and volunteer in her class and to always be so available for her.
Especially during these early "foundation" years.
I wouldn't trade any of that for the coolest photo job opportunity.

I also enjoy having her little friends over for lunch and play dates now that they are a bit older.
5 & 6 year olds are so sweet and much easier to handle.
Especially when they give me rave reviews on my cooking.
Lulu loves to tell all her friends what a good cook her momma is and every day they all come up and hug me asking when they can come to our place.
Is there anything better than that?

I completely love walking her to & from school each day.
I'm tryng to savour these moments as much as I can, as I know they are fleeting.
Especially when I see a group of kids maybe 6 or 7 years older than she is now, that wouldn't be caught dead walking with their mom to school.
Don't even think about holding hands!
Puhlease.

I've never missed a baseball game, a dance lesson or piano lesson.
I have been able to take her to camps and other fun activities around town.
So glad I can watch Lulu experience new places and meet new friends and help to nurture that.


Speaking of new places.
We took some pretty fun trips this years as well.
Nothing too exotic, and always visiting with family, but that in itself was also a great experience.
Especially for Lulu.
L.A. in the spring
Connecticut and New York in the summer.
Some weekends spent up north and down in Niagara.
I'm thinking 2012 might involve some new and exciting destinations with just the three of us.
Stay tuned for that.


As much as parenting has been at the top of my personal list this year, big daddy & I managed to get out a bit more for some one on one time.
It's great to finally have a roster of good babysitters.
We still need to do some work in the marriage department (then again tell me one couple who doesn't after being together for 14 years!)
But I'm in it for the long haul, so I'll keep on booking those sitters and calling in Grandma & Grandpa more often.
Speaking of which, our families are all healthy (big sigh of relief..) and for once, this year wasn't filled with too much drama.
Love that.

Went to a bunch of great restaurants. All casual, which is much more the kind of meal I like to have these days anyways.
I'm so over rich reductions, foam and pretentious wanna-be-actor-waiters not to mention ridiculous wine prices.
But truth be told, I find I enjoy eating at home more and more, and I would much rather have friends over than eat out too often.
That being said it is nice to get a break from time to time.


I managed to stay relatively healthy and am feeling more fit than I did 10 years ago.
Worked out quite a bit and finally seeing some results.
But this is another area I want to change, I recently read that if you get stressed trying to fit in things that are supposed to help you de-stress, then it's time for a change.
Some of my favourite classes at the gym are really not conducive to my schedule, especially since I will be working a bit more in 2012.
And throw in some chronic pain to areas that I think I am over working, I'd say it's time for a work-out change.
Change is good.
So I have a few new ideas that will keep me in shape, but hopefully keep me in check as well.

2011 has also been filled with good friends, some fun parties and get togethers.
Big daddy & I hope to maybe get some of our friends together for a party of our own.
who knows, we'll have to see about that.
Could be fun.

Of course the big addition to our family is Chelsea aka "the chelster" . She was probably the most excitement of 2011 for us.
She has been a welcome addition I might add.
Who knew you could love a small, snorty, sometimes smelly creature so much?


But otherwise a fairly uneventful year.
It flew by faster than I care to think about actually.
I can't believe it's soon to be 2012. Crazy.

2011 was for the most part filled with happiness, good healthy (with the exception of the last 8 weeks gah!!) , good friends, and family and the world's sweetest daughter.
I only hope 2012 is as good to me.
Happy New Year!!

merry christmas eve

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
~Larry Wilde

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas...
xo