new year resolutions

The other day I decided to make a list of all the things I would like to accomplish in 2009.
I came up with twenty or so personal goals.
Perhaps a tad overly ambitious- but I like goals, however unrealistic they might be.
Like for example, watch less T.V.
I say it every year, but I get sucked in time and time again.
I love my high definition idiot box, I can't help it, and sometimes it's nice to just zone out in front of the tube.
While channel surfing the other night, I came across Long Road Down with Ewan McGregor on the National Geographic channel.
It's The Long Road Down marathon this week and I'm hooked.
Did I mention that it's about Ewan McGregor?
I just can't seem to get enough of that foxy Scottish accent, baby blue eyes and that infectious laugh...did I mention that Ewan is in it?
oh and it's also about motorcycles and driving from Scotland to South Africa...and Ewan McgorgeousFreakin'Gregor!
What can I say it's been a long week and Big Daddy is away.
I wonder if he would find it weird if I asked him to talk with a Scottish accent when he gets home.
On a more serious note.
Here's a few others that I thought I would share.
#1. Stop Feeling Guilty.
I don't know what it is about being a mother, but I feel like I am drowning in guilt some days.
I am endlessly "should-ing" on myself and I need to get over this.
Like for example today.
I feel soooo guilty that Lulu is lonely and bored- her exact words.
Big daddy is away in NYC and I'm flying solo. Most of her friends are away on holidays and we have really been spending far too much time at home together.
I know, I know I should embrace this time together, but both of us are getting kind of squirrelly and more than once I lost my cool with her today.
She just wanted to play, I just wanted to have an hour to myself.
I actually tried to sit and write this morning but after the 22nd MOOOOMMMMYYYYY can you come play with me??? I gave up.
So far she has only called me twice....thank-you Blockbuster.
But I feel absolutely terrible, she's just a kid and the fact that she's an only child makes me feel even worse. She really is starting to get the concept that she doesn't have any siblings and she's not too thrilled about it.
The other night she started crying out of the blue with genuine tears of sadness and said "I wish I had a sister, then she could sleep in a bunk bed with me and we would talk and I would never never interrupt you & daddy"
Oh I'll just have a huge helping of guilt on a platter, oh and a side of extra guilt please.
sheesh.
I felt absolutely heartbroken.
Some days I feel guilty that maybe I'm paying too much attention to Lulu and other times not enough.
I can't seem to win.
But the bottom line is that I really need to get over the guilt.
We have made certain choices and I just need to focus on all the positive things we are doing for Lulu and not the negative-like losing my temper and dropping the F-bomb in front of her...oh the shame....
I think this will be by far the most challenging goal for 2009.
# 2. Having a more positive attitude
Speaking of making a change and being more positive....There is always room for improvement in this department for me.
I really need to start seeing the glass as half full instead of the other way around. Sure I find it much easier to do when it's warm & sunny outside and when everyone is happy and healthy. But sometimes you can't control everything in life and you just have to roll with the punches.
So basically I'm going to try to stay focused on being positive even if it's minus 20 outside and I have "assisted" lulu with blowing her nose 36 times in one day and I have complete and utter cabin fever. Stay positive...
At least we have a nice warm cozy house to live in right?
and let's not forget the wine in the cupboard and the vodka in the freezer....
#3. Overcoming Fear.
I don't know when exactly I became a overprotective, neurotic, nervous nelly but it has to stop.
I never seem to want to plan things (especially vacations) since last year. Sure the first half of 2008 was spent unable to fly- due to the unfortunate ruptured eardrum situation...but cummon...I really need to just get back on that travel horse and book a trip.
Pronto.
We NEED a family vacation, and also a trip alone- just big daddy & I.
My parents can handle a few days with Lulu she'll be fine...I turned out okay right???
Okay maybe we'll just start with the family vacation...kidding..well, semi-kidding..
I worry far too much.
Must.book.vacation.
#4. get to know myself again.
In the past few years I really have forgotten how to just let go and have fun (see above re: worried/paranoid/crazy/momma)
I used to be so carefree and loved to socialize. I was a complete social butterfly. I had a great sense of adventure and really loved to have a good time. Somewhere along the line, I lost that person a bit and I really want to find her again.
#5. Be More Grateful.
I have written about this on more than one occasion, but I have plenty to be grateful for. I need to remind myself of these things each and everyday.
My beautiful, funny and a little too smart for her own good daughter Lulu.
My loyal, respected and very hard working husband.
My good friends who I wish I spent more time with and hopefully in 2009 I will. (you know who you are ;)
My health...oh sure there are a few more colds to contend with now that we have a little germ magnet in the house, but on the grand scheme of things we are very healthy and for that I am very grateful.
And..well...you...my fellow bloggers.
Its been quite a journey and I have come to depend on the camaraderie and laughs I get from the Internet. who knew?
but for that I am very grateful and that I have a voice that's being heard in some capacity.
So that's my top 5 picks for my new year's resolutions.
What about you? what are your goals for 2009?

Oh and Happy New Year!

happy ho ho

I'm happy to report that everyone feels human and much much more healthy today.
Amazing what a good night sleep can do.
So Merry Christmas, or Happy Hanukkah or in our case Christmahkkah or whatever you celebrate.
I hope your day is filled with fun & family. (and definitely good health)

O christmas tree O christmas tree....

Every year I try my best to get into the Christmas spirit.
I put seasonal decorations around the house.

Lulu & I start baking Christmas cookies around the second week of December.

not a creature was stirring not even a mouse...
I record all the Christmas specials like Frosty, The Grinch and Rudolph and snuggle up and watch them with Lulu or more accurately get stuff done around the house while she's engrossed in the shows.
I pour over countless cooking magazines and cookbooks and try to come up with delectable menus for the holidays.
I listen to Holiday music though out most of the month of December.
But for some reason I just can't get into it no matter how hard I try.
It's no secret in my family that Christmas isn't one of my favourite holidays.
Too much expectation, too busy, the stores are too crowded and well quite frankly, I am sick every single f'ing Christmas!
Either the week before or during.
It never fails.
Once again, this year is no exception.
Lulu & big daddy were down with the flu last week and the week before, now it's my turn.
Surprise surprise.
So no fancyshmancy holiday parties or holiday cheer for me this weekend and it really sucks.
It's not like I wasn't expecting to get sick, it's just that I thought, maybe, just maybe this would be the year I would get lucky.
Plus I've been pumping vitamin C like nobodies business.
In addition to my bah-humbugness we skipped putting up a tree this year.
Yup. no tree for us.
I know I'm terrible, and I know that a large vase with pine branches doesn't really count- in defense, it does look quite lovely.
But Big daddy has never been a fan of having a Christmas tree- fair enough- he is Jewish after-all.
And he did indulge me last year by putting up a huge tree that took up most of the real estate in the dining/living room.
So I really can't complain.
But I just feel like I am depriving Lulu a bit.
So far she really doesn't seem to care or has yet to mention anything, but still..
At least we have stockings, and we have been playing a little game with her all month to get her excited about the holidays.
We knock on the front door and let her answer and we leave a wrapped gift there for her each week from the "elfarazzi"
That's what we call Santa's elves that seem to get mysterious pictures of her when shes not looking.
These particular elves have been assigned to her and watching to make sure she's been bad or good and they provide Santa with photographic evidence....
anyhoo..
This week she got a new Sled from those sneaky little elves.
She was freaking out and over the top excited- which was so fun to watch.
Quite honestly it's nice to spread things out a bit so it's not toy overload on the 25th.
And with the huge dumping of show we got yesterday, that sled sure will come in handy.
Those elves have such good timing..

So I'm not sure if I'll post this or not, because let's face it- who wants to listen to the rantings of a scrooge.
But fingers crossed that by the 24th I'll be feeling jolly.
fahla laa laa la la la.
Maybe this will help get me in the mood..
or not.

ho ho double ho

hmmm....Santa #1


Or Santa #2....

I'll take Santa #1
So we made our annual pilgrimage the the 5th floor of the Bay downtown to see Lulu's favorite bearded jolly fellow.
Once again, no line ups, no hassle and Mrs.Claus was even there to help Lulu hop up on Santa's lap.
He is the real deal folks.
I'm sure of it.
I could just sense an aura of Christmas magic in the air.
Or maybe that was just all the cheap perfume being sprayed in our direction while passing the fragrance department.
Those women are ruthless I tell you.
Um gee that's okay- I don't really want a free sample of Eau de Old lady, thankyouverymuch.
And why must they always spray it in your face?
Its like dodging bullets trying to get out of that department unscathed.
But I digress...
Santa remembered Lulu from last year and the year before that.
I have all the pictures to compare and I swear, he hasn't aged one iota.
He has to be the real Santa- has to be I tell you.


you be the judge..

on comet, on cupid

Last weekend we went to riverdale farm for a little holiday celebration.
There were cute crafts, music and cookies and the big man in red was there too.
He was a bit of a ghetto Santa.
His suit looked like it was in serious need of a dry cleaning, his beard was more gray than white and kind of hanging off of his face...but Lulu didn't seem notice.
She just handed him her list- which was a piece of paper with a bunch of squiggles and some puppy stickers on it.
Told him all she really wanted was a puppy- but not a real one because she's not 5 yet.
So it will have to be a "stuffing" one.
Then asked him if his reindeers could talk?
And if Comet was from outer-space?
g-d I love that kid.

time keeps on tickin tickin tickin'

Into the future.....
Steve Miller said it best.
I know it's such a cliche, but man does time ever fly.
It's like yesterday was Halloween and now it's practically Christmas!
How did that happen so fast?
It feels like just yesterday I was raking the beautiful fall leaves and now I'm shovelling snow.
well...not me exactly...that's kind of big daddy's thing.
He actually likes to shovel (or use his new kick ass snow blower) we are now officially everyone on our street's new best friend.
But as I was saying, why is it that time seems to go so much faster when you have kids?
Lately I'm feeling so old.
My hands are dry and cracked (endless hand washing that still doesn't seem to stop the never ending round of colds & flu's around here)
The wrinkles are starting to show around the ol' eyes and forehead.
Okay that's it- no more laughing or smiling....
My body feels stiff and achy.
I'm a pretty fit gal if I do say so myself, but lately it hurts when I get up in the morning.
One day it's my lower back, then my shoulder, or something...it always seems to be something.
True I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 weeks (see above re: colds & flu's) and no stretching or yoga starts to take a toll- so I only have myself to blame.
But it's just another cruel reminder that I'm no spring chicken.
And what the hell is it going to be like 10 years from now? or 20!!? I don't even want ot think about 30.
I always pictured myself as being a senior that plays tennis, travels, goes on long hikes, swims-does it all.
My Mother in law just turned 70 yesterday and I thought, gosh that could be me 30 years from now.
She does none of the things I just mentioned.
In fact she had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital a few weeks ago because she couldn't move.
It was nothing too serious, just bad arthritis and unfortunately a fairly sedentary lifestyle.
Then again, if I had raised 4 boys I think I would be pretty damned sedentary too.
But it's kind of freaky knowing that in a mere 30 years I'll be a senior.
g-d willing that I make it that far...and hopefully further.
Yikes...don't even want to think that far ahead.
So all the more reason to embrace each and every day.
Smooch the heck out of Lulu while shes so small and delicious.
Hug Big daddy more even if it hurts to move my arms in an upward motion.
Seize the day so to speak.
On that note-I'm going to get my stiff achy butt to the gym, because I really want to be able to fly like and eagle or strut like a rooster at the very least.

Oh and speaking of getting old- I really want to see this over the holidays.

wishful thinking

It's no secret that Lulu is in love with Charlie Brown.
Well not exactly Charlie Brown...she thinks he's a bit of a whiner, but she loves Linus, Schroeder and of course- Snoopy.
Specifically the way Snoopy throws down on an ice rink.
I just picked up a new pair of skates for Lulu, and I was going to wait until Christmas to give them to her, but who can wait that long?
Yesterday she was staring longingly at this frozen pond and asked if "we could go have a little skate mama?"
"pleeeeease?" for added effect.
Who could say no to that?
So guess what I'm doing today?

This was taken last year for Canadian Family Magazine (on newsstands now)
Let's just hope the new skates help to improve my little Dorothy Hamill.
Geez..talk about a pain in the back.
I don't think I stood up straight for over two hours.
ah but it was worth it.

birthday blahs

Well, another year has come and gone.
Not sure what relevance this image has with regard to my 38th birthday-but I didn't have anything else to sum up what turning 38 means to me.
Or the words really.
I will say that it went much faster than any year so far.
A pretty uneventful day, and fairly uneventful year for me.
Just coasting along in life, getting one step closer to the big 4-0. Gulp.
At least I'm not the only one getting older.
today
Actress Daryl Hannah is 48.
Actress Julianne Moore is 48.
Actor Brendan Fraser is 40.
and
Singer Ozzy Osbourne is 60.

I wonder what Ozzy is doing to celebrate tonight?
And I can't believe he made it to 60...

One Of A Kind

I managed to go to the One Of A Kind Show at last.
Every year, there seems to be something going on that has prevented me from being able to go.
This year I was as free as a bird- plus I had free media passes.
I brought Lulu with me which was o-kay.
She chilled in the stroller for the first half of the show.
Than again, I came prepared with plenty-o-bribery-loot.
Chocolate soy milk box- bought me 10 minutes.
Bits and Bites- another 10 minutes.
Raisins- 1 minute.
grapes- 0 minutes.
lollipop- 10 more minutes.
Gum- gasp! I know terrible mother, but whatever- 20 long luxurious minutes.
It was crowded and I'm glad that Lulu agreed to stay in the stroller most of the time, even though we kept getting stuck behind elderly ladies, leisurely checking out the booths.
Imagine! being leisurely at a Craft Show! The nerve...
Let's go ladies...chop chop...I'm on a mission..I have to get the entire place covered before Lulu decides that there just isn't enough sugar to keep her contained and insists on getting out of her stroller, which would be soooo not good.
Try telling a three year old not to touch lots of cool hand-made glittery neat things 1000 times.
Eventually they refuse to listen, take off, and lie in the middle of aisle G and have a melt down in front of hundreds of horrified onlookers.
I'm just saying.....
But it was worth it, as I found that fantastic hat and scarf.
And I'm not really a hat wearer- but the reality of standing on the sidelines of the park/school etc. for what seems like an eternity when its freaking freezing out has brought out the sensible side in me.
Bonus that it's super warm and super cute.
Now...where was that pediatric dentist's phone number?.....

giving thanks

Even though it's been several weeks since our thanksgiving, it's never a bad time to remember all that there is to be thankful for.
I came across this today and I only wish I could have put it as eloquently.
Happy thanksgiving to everyone south of the border.

sniffing glue

It's only a few weeks into winter (weather) and I'm already starting to feel the cabin fever setting in.
I've been frantically trying to sign Lulu up for winter programs starting in January so that
a) she has fun and it gives her something to do when the weather outside is frightful
b) she learns new skills and makes new little friends
c) so that I don't go stark raving mad and find myself sneaking sips of vodka at 3 in the afternoon.
you can only bake so many cookies and do so many crafts if ya know what I mean.
Just found out that soon will be the time to sign up for March break activities too.
I'm so on it this year.
Until then, it just me, Lulu, and our copious amounts of crayons, glitter glue, pipe cleaners, and other craftish paraphernalia.
good times.

tightening the belt

Well its no secret that the economy is in the toilet.
I've really been trying not to dwell on it too much and have a positive attitude despite all the doom & gloom out there.
It's just difficult to do when you see headlines that mention the "Great Depression" with black & white photographs of men waiting in a soup line.
Depressing is an understatement.
It's especially scary when you are self employed.
Just the other day one of my clients closed it's doors for good.
Wish Magazine and Gardening Life Magazine.
I didn't do a ton of work for them, but still, it's a big blow to the magazine world.
I just hope all those really nice people that worked there full time find new jobs soon.
That really sucks for them, especially at this time of year.
Anyhow it is kind of freaky when it starts to hit closer to home and not just on Wall/Bay.St
I'm still going to try to maintain a positive attitude though.
Let's just hope that when one door closes another one opens.
Big daddy and I were planning a mini getaway to NYC in a couple of weeks but somehow I just don't feel right about dumping a whole lotta cash on fancy dinners, boutique Hotels, live theatre and expensive shoes at the moment.
Then again if everyone had this reaction to all the news, then it will only make matters worse I guess.
We are in good shape at the moment, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to conserve a little more over the next few months.
It's taken me a long time to really understand that really some of the best things in life are free.
Family & health for example.
which at the moment I'm extremely grateful for.
I am however finding myself eyeing our tiny city garden filled with boxwoods , a Japanese Maple, euonomous, ivy, climbing hydrangea, cedars and a bunch of other useless greenery and wondering if we could replace it with a vegetable garden?
And I wonder if the shed would work if we decided to get some live stock?
Just a thought...

easy peasy

I can't believe another weekend has come & gone.
Big daddy & I had a few Lulu free days Thurs, Friday and Saturday morning.
It was a much needed break for all of us.
I seriously don't know why I don't take advantage of all the offers my parents make to babysit for us more often.
I'm a glutton for punishment I guess.
But I think it's super important to take breaks when you can.
So needless to say the few days were filled with lots of fun things.
Big daddy & I got to go shopping-alone.
Sooo much more relaxing without a three year old to deal with.
We had a nice casual sushi dinner out, got up early to work out and seize the day on Friday.
We went for a crepe down on Queen St. did a bit more shopping.
Hey someone has to keep the economy going...
Then I had the good fortune to be invited to watch a taping of the Steven & Chris Show with a girlfriend.
(hi natilia nervosa ; thanks again)
Big Bonus that the guest du jour was none other than THE Jamie Oliver.
I love this guy.
I've been a fan since the early days- Naked Chef.
I have all his cookbooks except one.
But when they were giving out prizes to the studio audience, guess who won?

It's the only one I didn't have so I was thrilled.
Jamie whipped up a little roasted carrot salad which I of course tried when I got home.
All I can say is that it was amazing.
I tweaked it a bit and added chick peas to round it out a bit and make it into more of a main course, but I highly recommend this cook book, if only for this fantastic recipe alone.
I can't wait to try out more of the amazing looking recipes.
I'm sure they are all delicious and easy as per usual.
We also got some lovely wine glasses from Crate & Barrel, which is currently housing a nice merlot-yum.
I love me some swag.
We went for some cocktails with some other gals after the show and then big daddy & I enjoyed a fantastic dinner at
Chez Victor.

More on that soon I promise.
Saturday we went to pick up the munchkin, got home in time to go to a neighborhood annual oyster party AND a 2nd birthday party for our little pal Zo-Zo.
Oh and the fun doesn't end there folks....
Today we slipped in the tail end of the Santa clause parade AND went to see Your'e A Good Man Charlie Brown at The Young Peoples Theatre.
Lulu really enjoyed it- me...not so much.
All I can say is that the entire time I was watching Snoopy, Linus, Schroeder, Lucy, Charlie & Sally on stage, I kept wondering what in the hell the woman in front of me was feeding her kid?
I mean this kid was farting up a storm and trust me it wasn't pretty.
Thank- g-d I was wearing a turtle-neck, which I ended up wearing pulled up all the way up to my eyes.
Seriously.
Even Lulu was grossed out.
But other than that it was fun.
Lulu is a huge Peanuts fan so it was sweet watching her reaction to the "live" peanuts gang.
I'm exhausted though and in need of another weekend.
So that's my weekend in a nut shell, how was yours?

day of the dead

Ah weekends...
I remember a time when big daddy & I would lounge in bed reading the paper, sipping our soy lattes leisurely trying to figure out what to do with our two days off.
Hmm brunch, drinks with friends, check out a gallery or two, go shopping, just hang and do nothing.....
Getting up when we felt like it and not when "someone" starts yelling at the top of her three year old lungs "get up DAAADDY!!! COME AND PLAY WITH ME!!!!! I WANNNA WATCH T.V.!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!! CARRY ME DOWN THE STAIRS!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO WALK!!!!!! I'M HUNGRY!!!!!!!LETS GO WAKE UP MOMMY!!!!!!!!"
Oh and I might add that all this hooting & hollering usually takes place at around 6:45 a.m.
And good morning to you too my little sweet hell child....Sigh.
Hard to imagine that someday we'll be the ones who will be yelling for her to haul her sorry ass out of bed.
Oh the sweet pay back...
Anyhow somehow our weekends have turned into a quest of "how can we keep Lulu entertained enough to exhaust her into actually going to sleep at 7:30ish so that we can actually have a sliver of a weekend too?"
Well that and Lulu is no longer the mellow anything goes kind of child and needs to be constantly entertained "or else".
Anyone out there with a three and half year old might just know exactly what "or else" entails.
If not, lets just put it this way- It ain't pretty.
So now we are up & at'im first thing Saturday mornings.
We managed to go to the Day Of The Dead "Dia De Los Muertos" festivities down at Harbourfront on Saturday.
Bonus that it's free and wasn't super packed with people.
Big daddy was in heaven when we found these

And Lulu was somewhat sated when she got one of these

But all she really wanted was to do the crafts.

That child is never more happy than when she is surrounded by paints, markers, glitter glue and crayons.

We did a bunch of other stuff and by the end of the day I pretty much felt like this

Let's not even talk about Sunday.
Word to the wise- don't ever bring a three year old shopping on Bloor st- especially not to the Hermes Store.
Ever.
Funny that she was the perfect angel when we were at Pottery Barn Kids though....

as an aside- not every weekend starts off like this one did.
Thank g-d... but for some reason, and oh do I wish I knew why, Lulu was like a different kid this weekend.
The majority of the time she is sweet and relatively relaxed in the mornings and sometimes down right adorable, but our regular Lulu must have been on vacation this week.
Let's just hope she gets back sometime before next Saturday.

g-d bless america

You know when you go to a restaurant and end up having entree envy with the person sitting next to you?
Well that's how I felt last night while watching the US election results.
I had total election envy.
I mean our election was a big expensive waste of time (which we have to do all over again in 6 months time)
What's up with that?
Watching the speeches last night was more exciting that watching a rock concert (not that I can remember the last time I was actually at a "rock" concert)
I so don't recall any moving historical speech given by our priminister after his party won a few weeks ago- little lone one of his opponents.
Both speeches last night were really inspiring.
Watching President Obama gave me goose bumps, brought tears to my eyes, made me feel hopeful and excited about the future.
And I'm not even American!
I can't even begin to imagine how proud every single African American must be feeling today.
Every American for that matter-even the republicans.
McCain put up a good fight and he is a class act.
I really hope both parties do keep their promise to work together to help solve the difficult problems at hand.
Very monumental.
Not to sound unpatriotic- because I am very proud to be Canadian, but why can't we get it together when it comes to the way we run our elections?
I love the idea of a set date on the calender- every 4 years and the leader can only run for two consecutive terms.
I mean, that totally makes sense.
And campaign money should be raised by the people and not the big corporations.
An election by the people for the people.
It is time for a change- big time.
Let's just hope it happens north of the border soon.
(and for the love of g-d will the liberal party get moving on finding an actual worthy opponent for the conservatives)
I wonder if Jack Layton would ever consider jumping ship and going red?
Just a thought.

Okay so enough about politics.
I went to a really fun gathering of fellow mommy bloggers last night- and I promise to give more details soon.
Stay tuned.
But If I don't get moving, my poor kid will be the last one picked up at school today.

In the mean time-Congratulations to all the Democrats and to all Americans.
Very exciting future ahead.

trick & more treats

Ah what a fun halloween.
My all time favorite holiday.
Even though I don't really think that it is technically a holiday per say, it's so much fun.
The weather this year was absolutely perfect.
Lulu really got into things this year and was running from house to house like her coach was going to turn back into a pumpkin by the stroke of midnight (or more accurately nine o'clock)
She was dressed as Cinderella- and kept telling big daddy that he was her prince charming all night.
That girl knows how to work it.
It was so nice talking to all the neighbours on the street that otherwise you don't really get a chance to.
One house came out with a tray of warm mulled wine in plastic wine glasses for the grown ups.
How great is that?
Another house rented a cotton candy machine!
Several houses had really amazing special effects, smoke machines, creepy music the works.
I love love love my neighborhood.
I feel so lucky to live in such an awesome community.
Lulu will be very fortunate to grow up here.
It really is like a small town within a big city.

The only negative-all the candy.
Yes I said negative.
Big daddy & I enjoyed a delicious steak tenderloin with truffle polenta and porcini mushrooms for dinner last night and managed to polish off an entire bottle of Prosecco and some fantastic red wine.
Needless to say, we were both two sheets to the wind and ended up eating a ton of Lulu's Halloween stash.
What is it about being drunk and eating like a pig?
Anyhow, today I'm feeling super guilty.
Not just because of the massive trail of mini wrappers scattered all over the basement, but because I think we managed to polish off all of the mini kit-kats, crispy crunch and reese's peanut butter cups.
Poor Lulu-all that trick or treating and hard work and all she has left to show for it is some lousy eatmores and oh henry's.
Poor mommy feels like crap today.
I'm feeling a little like the evil stepmother at the moment.

shoobeedoobe-do

Okay- I confess.
I'm a huge So You Think You Can Dance fan.
As it turns out, so are a bunch of ladies I worked with this summer.
All we could talk about each week was "Twitch, or Karington or Twitchington"
"like oh.mg-d did you like see that like routine last night?!!! it was so buck!!"
So when it ended for the season we decided to try to get some tickets to see the show live.
Big daddy pulled through and got us 5 tickets- even though the show sold out within minutes.
Who knew?
So I finally had a fun girls night out.
LONG overdue.
Why don't I do that more often?
We went for drinks and dinner before hand, then walked over to the ACC.
Such a large venue for a dance show.
I can't remember the last time I was at a huge organized public event.
The Shaw Festival doesn't really count.
We ended up pulling a few strings and got upgraded to the private lounge, and sipped wine while squealing like 16 year old school girls.
SO fun.
I will say that it was near impossible to actually see the dancers, even on the large screens.
And Cat Deeley wasn't there, just her pre-recorded voice.
And it was pretty much a recap of all the best routines from the show.
Nothing new for the live show at all.
Kinda pathetic, especially considering the tickets were $60 ea.
But whatever, it was a hoot.
So when the Canadian So You Think You can Dance show started this fall, I was skeptical.
I thought for sure it would be as pathetic as our version of American Idol.
So embarrassingly lame.
But it's not- I love it.
I might even go as far as to say I think it might even be better than the original US version.
AND we don't have to deal with Mary Murphy screaming every 5 minutes.
I always have to keep my finger on the volume button for fear of being banned from watching while Big daddy is in the same room.
So who knows, maybe I'll try to get tickets to see the show live at CTV.
It's so great to be able to do girly things from time to time.
Even if they are things that I don't openly admit to doing.
errr dance is considered an art right?

a year ago today

Yup, that's my little Baby Zebra on the cover of Canadian Family Magazine.
We shot the story last year- hard to believe another year has flown by.
This time last year both Lulu & I were sick with colds- lulu with her first ear infection.
She was on antibiotics and not feeling herself- thus her docile pose.
Under normal circumstances I think my little zebra would have been jumping up & down on the couch with all the halloween candy consumed that day.
Poor little thing- it was rice & bananas for her upset tummy due to her first antibiotic experience.
Wish I had known about Acidophilus back then.
But as crummy as we were both feeling- it was a fun shoot.
There's lots of great tips and ideas for a hassle free halloween.



I love the ghost costume idea.
we originally had 7 kids all lined up and walking down the street in their ghost costumes (all wearing black hightop converse)
Thank-you Converse!
But I don't think that shot made the cut.
It was pretty crazy trying to wrangle the kids and keep them from eating the "props" aka candy right off the bat, before we could get the shot.
But once we gave the green light..par-tay!


I love these shots of Lulu with the snake, scorpion and rat.
The child had NO fear whatsoever.
Me on the other hand-was trembling like shaggy on the other side of the studio.
Like lets get that tarantula back in its cage Scub..

Unfortunately this year once again, have both have bad colds- nothing too serious though and thankfully no ear infections.
Lulu's actually fine now, I'm just walking around with abox of kleenex in my hand.
This year we won't be hosting/shooting a halloween party.
Probably just having a few friends over.
And unfortunately Lulu already chose her costume at the supermarket.
yup. One of those super tacky, flimsy satin princess costumes.
$19.99.
Nothing too creative happening here this halloween.
At least for now.
we'll see what happens when next week rolls around.

no time like the present

Last week we spent the afternoon at Highpark.
I forgot how much I love it there.
I remember spending many a lazy Sunday lounging under a tree with big daddy pre-Lulu.
We even took our wedding photos there.
Fond memories for sure.
I also remember watching little kids feeding the ducks in the pond and wondering if one day we would have a family too.
Would we own a home in a nice neighbourhood?
Would we be successful and happy?
How would I deal with being a mother, if I in fact became one?
If only I had a crystal ball...

to vote or not to vote?

I must admit, I'm not very politically savvy.
I'm not entirely sure what each party stands for other than slagging the opposing one.
I watched the debate, yet I'm still undecided.
who to vote for? that is the question.
Should I even vote?
I'm not even sure what the fundamental difference is between Liberal & Conservative.
this is what I came up with

What is the difference between a liberal and a conservative?

Answer
This isn't original, but If a young man is not a liberal, he has no heart. If an old man is not a conservative, he has no head.
Basically, liberals think that the government should take care of the people and conservatives believe that people can take care of themselves.
Answer
"Conservatives" believe that the government should stay out of your life, unless you're a pregnant woman, gay, etc.
Answer: Basically, liberals think that the government should take care of the people and conservatives believe that people can take care of themselves. In today's politics liberals can be associated to the Democratic Party and conservatives are closely associated with the Republican Party. P. E. Harrell
ANSWER:
10) Conservatives believe that individual Americans have a right to defend themselves and their families with guns and that right cannot be taken away by any method short of a Constitutional Amendment, which conservatives would oppose. Liberals believe by taking arms away from law abiding citizens, they can prevent criminals, who aren't going to abide by gun control laws, from using guns in the commission of crimes.
9) Conservatives believe that we should live in a color blind society where every individual is judged on the content of his character and the merits of his actions. On the other hand, liberals believe that it's ok to discriminate based on race as long as it primarily benefits minority groups.
8) Conservatives are capitalists and believe that entrepreneurs who amass great wealth through their own efforts are good for the country and shouldn't be punished for being successful. Liberals are socialists who view successful business owners as people who cheated the system somehow or got lucky. That's why they don't respect high achievers and see them as little more than piggy banks for their programs.
7) Conservatives believe that abortion ends the life of an innocent child and since we believe that infanticide is wrong, we oppose abortion. Most liberals, despite what they'll tell you, believe that abortion ends the life of an innocent child, but they prefer killing the baby to inconveniencing the mother.
6) Conservatives believe in confronting and defeating enemies of the United States before they can harm American citizens. Liberals believe in using law enforcement measures to deal with terrorism, which means that they feel we should allow terrorists to train, plan, and actually attempt to kill Americans before we try to arrest them -- as if you can just send the police around to pick up a terrorist mastermind hiding in Iran or the wilds of Pakistan.
5) Conservatives, but not necessarily Republicans (which is unfortunate), believe it's vitally important to the future of the country to reduce the size of government, keep taxes low, balance the budget, and get this country out of debt. Liberals, and Democrats for that matter, believe in big government, high taxes, and they have never met a new spending program they didn't like, whether we will have to go into debt to pay for it or not.
4) Conservatives believe that government, by its very nature, tends to be inefficient, incompetent, wasteful, and power hungry. That's why we believe that the government that governs least, governs best. Liberals think that the solution to every problem is another government program. Even when those new programs create new problems, often worse than the ones that were being fixed in the first place, the solution is always....you guessed it, another government program.
3) Conservatives are patriotic, believe that America is a great nation, and are primarily interested in looking out for the good of the country. That's why we believe in "American exceptionalism" and "America first." Liberals are internationalists who are more concerned about what Europeans think of us and staying in the good graces of the corrupt bureaucrats who control the UN than looking out for the best interests of this nation.
2) Conservatives, most of them anyway, believe in God and think that the Constitution has been twisted by liberal judges to illegitimately try to purge Christianity from the public square. We also believe, most of us anyway, that this country has been successful in large part because it is a good, Christian nation and if our country ever turns away from the Lord, it will cease to prosper. Liberals, most of them anyway, are hostile to Christianity. That's why, whether you're talking about a school play at Christmas time, a judge putting the Ten Commandments on the wall of his court, or a store employee saying "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays," liberals are dedicated to driving reminders of Christianity from polite society.
1) Conservatives believe in pursuing policies because they're pragmatic and because they work. Liberals believe in pursuing policies because they're "nice" and make them feel good. Whether the policies they're advocating actually work or not is of secondary importance to them.
Addendum: Conservatives believe that there should be no government interference in business. Liberals believe that some oversight and regulation is necessary. As we sit on the edge of more government bail-outs for big business, whose failures were caused primarily by deregulation allowing rampant greed and criminality, I wonder how that shores up the idea that "people can take care of themselves." Not if they're rich corporations, I guess.

sheesh...I'm thinking Green party....


On a lighter note.... and if you are still reading...
I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving weekend.
The weather was absolutely perfect in our neck of the woods/city.
Is there a nicer time of year?

I cheated this year and bought an organic stuffed turkey breast from Cumbrea's.
I did however make a homemade squash, apple & bean soup and shredded Brussel sprouts with Niagara Pancetta. yum.
and it wouldn't be thanksgiving without a homemade Cranberry orange sauce with cinammon, and grand marnier.
yum.
grandma brought the pumpkin pie- which was awesome.

much to be thankful for indeed.

gobble gobble

mirror mirror on the wall..

I so wish we didn't live in a society that places so much emphasis on looks.
But that's just the way it is and always will be.
Looking young seems to be at the top of most women's wish list.
But as I get closer and closer to the 40 year mark (okay still over two years away, but still....) I can really see the changes.
And no where was it more glaringly obvious than on a 42' flat-screen in HD.
Argh.
After watching myself on the first episode of "the show" I thought, okay, I don't look too bad.
But after last night's episode, I can't say the same.
There was the shopping segment which wasn't too painful, but the rest I thought I looked and sounded terrible.
My hair looked awful, my face was all shiny- good hair and make-up really does make a difference on t.v.
And it is so true about what they say- t.v does add 10 lbs. for sure.
I think it also adds to the size of your nose too.
when the hell did my cute button nose officially become a honkin' schnoz?
yikes. Barbara Streisand's got nothin' on me.
I know I'm no giant- being vertically challenged has been my reality all my life, but put me next to two tall 5'10+ girls in heels no less- and I look like an elf.
Then there's the issue of what my voice sounds like.
Sort of nasal-ish and like I had 5 chocolate bars right before we started shooting.
Let's not even talk about the editing that always seems to cut me off- which isn't such a bad thing I guess.
I say "Yeah", far too often.
Now I know where Lulu gets it.
oh yeah.
So needless to say I'm pretty depressed today.
I need a new hair stylist, and maybe a whole new face.
Well maybe I'll just start with the hair....the face might be a little extreme.

I come by all this insecurity naturally though.
My mom is constantly worried about how she looks.
She is super hard on herself- in my opinion, unnecessarily.
She is absolutely beautiful and natural.
She will be 60 yet she looks much closer to 50.
She often gets mistaken for Lulu's mother and not grandmother.
She is a cancer survivor and is healthy and energetic- yet never 100% happy about the way she looks.
Every photo I take of her (and I'm pretty decent with a camera if I do say so myself) she asks me to delete.
I guess the ol' apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, as I'm always editing all the shots of myself- in fact that could be the reason we have very few of me.
It's all Lulu & big daddy.
fine by me- that's why I really feel more comfortable behind a camera and not in front of one.
I just hope Lulu doesn't inherit this insecurity and I end up passing on the "too hard on myself gene".
Because I think she's so beautiful- inside & out.

I also hope the next 4 episodes that I'm on are not as painful as the last one.
I seriously don't know how actors & models deal with seeing themselves in action.
They really have to have a thick (yet flawless) skin.
Me not so much.
Are all women so self critical when it comes to their physical appearance, or is it just the ones that get sucked into to being on T.V.?

pickle time

It might be too late to pick up this issue of Canadian Family Magazine (I think it was last month) but it's not too late to make pickles.
We shot this last year and Lulu had so much fun.
A fun super easy thing to do with kids and doesn't cost a fortune.
It really teaches them about food, where it comes from and what we can do to it to make taste delicious.

Since I'm in self promotion mode....if you didn't catch the season premier of The Style Department on HGTV last night it's on again today @ 3:30 and Saturday @ 10 a.m.
I think the room looked great and I guess I didn't come off looking too terrible (as I had originally feared)
Let me know whatcha think.
For fun pickle recipes check out the canadian family magazine website.
what's not to love about pickles?
yum.

sweet new year

We spent the day in an apple orchard on Sunday and had so much fun.
Lulu was ultra enthusiastic about picking the brightest juiciest apples on the trees.
She's quite the little harvester.
She even ate one straight from the tree without the usual demands of no peel and sliced just so..
We are turning a corner in the food department folks. ..



I am having so much fun with her these days. Three is such an awesome age.
We just hang out and chat.
And boy can my girl chat....Endless stories and questions.
But I love it, I wish I could just freeze time and she would stay three forever...well maybe not forever...
It is fun though, and so damned adorable.



On another note-it's the Jewish New year tonight and we are going to some friends for dinner.
Good timing re: spending the day in an apple orchard, as one of the traditions is to eat apples & honey to signify a sweet new year.
Sounds good to me.
Shona Tova!



Oh and if you want a good laugh, watch HGTV tomorrow night at 8:30 and see if you can spot me.