Tuesday, April 26, 2011

a good egg

What a week.
We celebrated Passover, Easter AND Lulu's 6th birthday.
Lulu was beyond excited and it was so sweet to see.
You forget as an adult what it really feels like to be so excited about something.
And no, cracking open a bottle of red wine on a Friday night doesn't really count...
But seriously, I can't remember the last time I was really & truly excited about anything.
You sort of lose that kind of feeling as you get older after you pass all of life's big milestones.
I love being able to live vicariously though Lulu now though.
With the exception of getting up at the crack of dawn to see what the Easter bunny brought her.
Wish she had just slept past 6 a.m....ouch...

Anyhow, we brought nine of her friends for lunch on Saturday and then to see the movie HOP.
It was so much fun and so cute watching Lulu with all her little girlfriends.
It was also Lulu's first time at the movies.
She's been to lots of live theatre and musical events, but never to an actual movie.
Needless to say, she was pretty thrilled with her birthday party.
Easter was lots of fun as well and I don't even want to think about how much chocolate was consumed.
And that's just me I'm talking about...

So now here I am, on a rainy Tuesday reflecting on the past week and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I now have a six year old daughter.
I say it every year, but how did a year fly by so quickly?
It feels like just yesterday we were new parents and flying by the seat of our pants.
Okay- still are...but with six more years experience and a few more gray hairs to prove it.
I couldn't be more proud of Lulu and how much she has grown over the past year.
She is really her own person and is so aware of the world around her.
She is very concerned about recycling, the environment, and being a "good citizen" her words.
She didn't really ask for "stuff" for her birthday, she never really does.
She's not into lots of toys or material objects, she's still the most content with blank paper, markers and scissors.
That in it self makes me so happy.
This morning she was singing "Vincent" by Don McLean because of a new book that she got a few weeks ago all about Vincent Van Gogh.
She was so concerned about the fact that he cut off his ear, and said quote "maybe he just had too many things in his head that he wanted to paint and felt like he couldn't get them all on the canvas, so he felt like if he cut of his ear he would feel better".
I did mention she just turned six right?
Anyhow I could go on forever about all the profound (or at least to me) things Lulu says each day but I won't.
I will say that I love her even more than I did yesterday, which I didn't think was possible.
I look forward to seeing the young woman she will one day become, because I am certain she will be a "good citizen" without a doubt.
But I hope time just slows down a little so I can continue to hold her small hand while walking her to school.
Answering her the 100th time each day when she calls me mama.
And being able to read stories to her and teach her about new and exciting things, just as she teaches me new things each day.
There really is no greater gift than that.
So happy 6th birthday sweet Lulu.
I love you more than all the stars in the sky...

mommy xoxo

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflecting Vincent's eyes of China blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hands

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one as
beautiful as you

Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
A silver thorn on a bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

Sunday, April 17, 2011


A few weeks ago we were walking by a new yoga studio in our neighbourhood and I noticed that they offer Family Yoga Classes.
From a very early age Lulu has always shown an interest in yoga.
I'm not totally sure where that comes from as I really don't practice yoga on a regular basis.
There has been many a morning that I have found her in her bedroom doing sun salutations on her blankie.
I kid you not.

As for me, the past few years I can count on one hand how many times I've been to a class.
Not that I don't like Yoga, it's just that for the past several years I've been mildly obsessed with kickboxing and weight/cardio training.
Yoga, not so much.
I love the adrenaline rush I get from high intensity classes and I love being able to move to music and work up a good sweat.
I also love the "me time" and I really find it helps burn off stress.
Above all, I love the good friends I've made and look forward to the laughs and female camaraderie that I get from being a part of an all women's gym.
Okay that... and the instructor isn't too hard on the eyes either.

That being said, I think I'm hitting a bit of a work-out plateau.
I'm averaging between 4-6 hours of high intensity workouts per week and I'm really not seeing any noticeable results.
Now my main reason for exercise isn't really just all about changing my physical appearance.
Because let's face it, regardless of how many classes I do, that muffin top is here to stay.
I know my genetics.
and maybe I also have a wee addiction to 2 bite brownies.
mmm just finished one right now in fact.
But whatever, I still love kicking it each week, jelly belly and all.

What I'm not loving is the aches and pains I feel ALL the time.
I think I have actually been pushing myself too hard and I'm not really sure that's a good thing.
So maybe it's time for a change?

Anyhow long story short, Lulu asked me if we could do a yoga class together.
So we did.
I skipped my beloved 2 hour Saturday morning kick-boxing class and did the downward dog with my little lady.
And I have to say, I'm so glad that I did.
We had so much fun and I can't believe that yoga studios all over the city don't offer family yoga classes.
Such a great thing for kids to be involved in.
It reminded me how much I enjoy yoga and also how badly I needed a good stretch.
Not to mention it's still a good workout, but just in a different way.
We didn't really do any serious deep breathing or anything like that- it was with 5-10 year olds after-all, but it was so nice to move and mostly to feel so connected to Lulu.
I'm so glad that she asked me to take her to a class.
I might just have to make it a regular Saturday morning thing.
Change is a good thing.

Now does anyone happen to know of any yoga studios with cute male instructors?
Just curious...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Now these are Downtown Condos that I approve of.

It's about time the city started planting trees, rather than cutting them all down.
Those birds on Bloor St. will hopefully have some fancy new digs soon.
Glad to see that the city also has a sense of humor.
Though I'm sure all the retailers in Yorkville didn't find the two year construction very funny.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

The waiting game

Today someone very important to me is going to have a biopsy done.
Finally...after four very long weeks of waiting.
I cannot even imagine how scared she must be.
After being in remission for over twenty years I pray that this is not a relapse.
She is in my thoughts and in my heart today...as she is every day..