Monday, March 05, 2012

miss manners

Is it just me, or are kids becoming increasingly rude these days?
I've really noticed a complete lack of manners lately.

For example, a few weeks ago I had a bunch of Lulu's friends over for a special Valentine's day lunch.
The place was decked out with cute decorations, I had heart shaped sandwiches, special cupcakes, heart shaped cookies, the works.
Out of all six kids, only one actually said thank-you for having her over and for the yummy food.
One girl actually jumped up on the furniture with wet muddy winter boots on.
Did I mention most of our furniture is cream coloured and not exactly from The Brick.
I mean seriously?! WTF?
What kid does that?
I could maybe see if the kid was like...Two.. but Seven? really?
Do her parents let her do that in her house?
Or should I say, does the nanny let her do that at her house?
Lulu was a bit horrified by it actually, and kept apologizing on her behalf to me later in the day.
I'm so glad that she gets it.
At least I'm doing something right.
I will also add that Lulu couldn't say thank-you enough for throwing her the impromptu lunch party.
Bonus that she is also grateful.

Then this weekend we had some friends over for lunch.
I made Panini's and homemade tomato soup.
For the girls I just kept things simple with Ham & Cheese.
The grown-ups had roast beef, arugula, apple wood smoked cheddar with a horse radish aioli.
Pesto & buffalo Mozzarella.
And brie & royal gala apple on fresh Epi walnut raisin bread.
mmmm paninis.....

What was I talking about?...right...rudeness.
Well when I gave this kid her fresh pressed sandwich, she freaked out.
"I don't like my grilled cheese with lines on it!!!!!! wahh!!! wahhhh!!"
Lulu just looked at me in shock.
I was totally taken aback as well.
This kid is almost EIGHT! Crazy right?
Mom just kind of told her to settle down (in a pretty wishy washy way I might add)
I had to leave the room I was so insulted.
She also kept freaking out over our puppy who is super mellow & calm and pretty much not bothering her at all.
Interesting, considering that they were dog sitting a big dog at their place for the weekend.
Poor Lulu. I felt so bad for her.
She just adores Chelsea and gets pretty upset when anyone insults her puppy.
Not to mention her mom's cooking.
Thankfully she handled the situation with a maturity way beyond her six years and I couldn't have been more proud of her.

The last time we had this kid over (Halloween) she pulled the same crap.
I made home baked individual Mac & cheese. Nothing fancy, just kind of cute.
Special meat and cheeses cut into bat shapes and some little tomato, bocconcini & basil bites.
She was so rude and refused to eat any of it.
What's not to like here people?

If I went to someone's house when I was a kid and they served me this (see above) I would have been thrilled.
Not yelling (or maybe it was screaming) "I hate this kind of macaroni & cheese!!!"
"I don't want to eat this stuff!!!"
wow. I was flabbergasted.
I have yet to meet a child that does not like Mac & Cheese.
Though apparently that was a first according to her dad.
Was it all an attention getting act?
Like I said- Drama is this child's middle name.
What really gets me, is that they didn't even apologize on her behalf.
On the contrary they kind of ignored it and made us put up with her nonsense all night.
Thus ruining Lulu's Halloween.
grrr...just thinking about it makes me so mad.

The only reason I keep having them back is that these are old friends of big daddy's so we kind of put up with it.
This kid keeps getting progressively worse and they keep turning a blind eye.
No wonder they have such a hard time finding play dates for her.
I end up feeling kind of bad for them and keep getting sucked into inviting them over.
Anyhow, I don't think I'll be inviting them over any time again soon.
I'm done.
Oh and do you think they would have maybe sent a quick email to say thanks for a lovely lunch and afternoon?
They are after all, completely attached to their blackberries being the "uber fabulous power career couple" that they are..
I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree in the manners department.
So maybe I shouldn't be too surprised by all that rude behaviour.

So last but not least.
I'm needing to vent so bear with me.

On the way home from school today we were walking with another girl from school and her dad.
Her dad & I were chatting about the school play last week etc..
I even complimented her on her performance.
Great job etc.
The girl starts yelling "stop talking daddy! I just want to walk alone with you!! no more talking!!!"
I mean I get it when you just want to walk alone with your child and they want to have you all to their selves, but really?!
Lulu would NEVER pull that crap.
In fact she just held my hand and looked at me wondering what in the heck was wrong with this "friend".
Worst of all is that the dad said nothing.
We live on the same street and go in the same direction, so what were we supposed to do?
Lulu & I kind of said adios and walked as fast as we could to get away from this manner-less and clue-less duo.

Anyhow I am just floored that so many parents let their kids act so rude and disrespectful.
Whatever happened to being polite.
Not interrupting.
Being respectful and showing gratitude?
We are not perfect in any shape or form, but there is a zero tolerance for that kind of behaviour in our house.
Lulu would never, I mean NEVER get away with acting like this.
On the contrary, she is a pretty sweet and polite child.
Perfect. no.
But she knows how to behave and be respectful and gracious especially towards adults and when in someones home.
I kind of insist she's that way.
It's not really an option not to be.
And if she's not always on her best behaviour, Big daddy & I don't waste any time setting her on the right track and reminding her what is and isn't an acceptable way to act.

I will add that there have been many times that we were at someone else's house for dinner or lunch and Lulu didn't particularly like what was being served. But rather that blurt out "I don't like this!" we have taught her to just quietly wait until everyone else is finished and say she isn't really that hungry. I get it when kids are little and they are just learning proper meal time etiquette,
but I think by the age of at least six they should have a handle on how to act.
That's just my two cents.

So is it just me, or are the majority of kids just completely without manners and rude these days?
What is happening to our society?
And are the words "Thank-You so hard to say?
Or at the very least, email?

Oh and it goes without saying that if I know you and your kids and you read this blog, I am obviously not talking about you.
Most of our friends have really sweet & polite children, except for the above mentioned of course.
I guess at the end of the day, I just find it all so disappointing and unfortunate.


Gabriella said...

lol will you be my friend and move into my neighborhood?
I can so relate to this. S is not perfect either but for the most part is hardly rude, and never rude at someone's home.
We had some kids over the other night and by the time they had left our place looked like a tornado had come through, and the parents thought nothing of it. S was so upset that she and I had to clean it all up the next morning because her friends wouldn't help her. They wouldn't listen to her when she told them not to go into my room where they took clothes off my hangers, went into the kitchen and took out all the cutlery etc..I could go on...

Strange though when I go to visit, S plays nicely and always helps clean up, never demands thing from the of the girls demanded popcorn the night they were over and I said to her I would make some after the grown ups finished dinner, and she start yelling no now! her parents were right there and just ignored her. Crazy!!!

Sandra said...

I read this earlier today and during dinner I role played with the girl what to say if you are served something that you don't like! I don't want to be one of THOSE families....

I agree though - manners have slipped. And I think that part of it is casual meals. Fewer families sit down at the table together to have a meal. Lots more dashing in and out and grabbing this or that.

Knowing how to be takes you farther than brains...

Tania said...

I am proud to say that my six year old is primarily rude only to me. Being the pickiest eater ever, she wouldn't have liked anything on your menu either, but I know that she would have at least faked a tummy ache or something to avoid insulting you.

You've had one crazy dose of rude lately!

Anonymous said...

Errr, are you sure you're not talking about my kids???