Monday, March 23, 2009
home is sort of where the heart is
I can hardly believe we've been in our house for over 5 years already.
It seems like just yesterday when we moved to our neighbourhood and could not stop smiling for months each time we had to walk around the corner to all the fantastic shops or walk through the neighbourhood admiring all the beautiful old homes.
I would have to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming.
Do I really live here?
It was a big change from our previous "hood" and I don't think we have really stopped smiling come to think of it.
It's such a great part of the city.
Close to everything, safe, very family friendly, yet still urban and interesting.
There is tons of green space in the area with lots of parks and huge tree lined streets.
Minimal crime, very pretty homes which for the most part, people really seem to look after with a strong sense of house pride.
We often joke and call it pleasantville.
But when we originally moved in, we kind of figured it would be our 5-7 year home.
Eventually wanting to move into something a little bigger.
See our house is probably one of the smallest in the neighbourhood.
Sure it's cute, but every time I walk Lulu to school I can't help but to stare longingly at every other house on our street.
I try to not get too depressed and keep reminding myself how lucky we are to be even in such a lovely neighbourhood, but some days I just get so frustrated.
Maybe we should just bite the bullet and move.
The problem is that our house is pretty charming. (and more importantly- affordable)
It's 80% custom to exactly how we want it.
Most people think our place is pretty "stylin" but to us it's just that little bit too small.
It's definitely not our dream home- but I guess for now it suits us for the most part.
I can't really imagine ever throwing a big party in the middle of the winter- where would all the coats & boots go?
never mind all the people.
I don't know why I fret over stuff like this- but I do.
so we have yet to really throw a party- with the exception of Lulu's 1st birthday which I think comprised of maybe 16 people.
But who am I kidding- even if we lived in a McMansion, I doubt we would ever really get around to throwing a big party.
Now that Lulu is getting older I'm wondering how to accommodate a house full of kids for her upcoming birthday.
And I feel bad that she can't run around without us constantly saying "be careful!!" worried that she is going to ram into a piece of furniture.
For the past couple of years we've been looking at other places.
Going to open houses etc. but we would have to assume a pretty hefty mortgage if we made the jump.
And I wonder if the stress would really be worth it.
We could move to another more affordable part of the city, but really- I don't think we can bare the thought.
We love it here that much.
I always try to make myself feel better by telling myself that we live a "European" lifestyle.
And really who needs more rooms to clean and look after?
But who ever thought a front hall closet and 2 car parking would be considered a luxury?
Ah the joys of city living...
Both big daddy & I grew up in fairly substantial sized suburban homes, and it's just strange to think that lulu will never know what it's like to play ping-pong in the basement or have a big walk-in closet or heck a big grassy back yard to run around in.
we just had to flag stone the backyard...
oh the guilt...
Sometimes I even wonder if one of the reasons I'm not sure about ever having a second child is because we would most likely have to move.
which really is pretty lame considering the people we bought the house from had two kids (and ended up moving a few doors down- to a slightly bigger house)
I should just be grateful that we have a house (especially these days) and not be so consumed with keeping up with the Joneses.
Which maybe if I am really being honest with myself is what all the angst is all about in the first place.
edited to add- a mere hours after I wrote this, Lulu was running around the dining room table dressed like a fairy and having fun, when she trips on the rug and flies head first into the banister.
There is such limited space in the dining/living area to move- never mind run like a fairy.
she now has a huge dark goose egg in the middle of her sweet face and I just feel even more guilty.
I just wish she had more room to move and play and not for stuff like this to not have to happen.