Monday, July 05, 2010

the blame game


When I wrote my last post I was feeling so proud of my little lady- Lulu.
This one...not so much.
Lulu has always been a good natured kid- a bit sensitive, likes things a certain way- but pretty good for the most part.
Or at least as good as a five year old can be.
But over the past few weeks something has changed.
She has done a few things lately- and acted out in ways that make me feel far from proud.
On the contrary- I'm quite shocked and embarrassed by her behaviour lately.
Her last T-ball game of the season wasn't one of her finer moments, that's for sure.
Won't go into too much detail, but lets just put it this way- who knew T-ball was a full contact sport?
We had a play date with a friend last week and once again- not too impressed by her behavior.
Nothing physical happened- but her overall attitude wasn't something I had really seen before.
It was her way or the highway- and she certainly had no problem being vocal about it.
We went to friends for a BBQ on Canada Day and she did something that I am having a hard time getting past.
Again- won't go into too much detail- but I was completely mortified and really really upset by it.
I'm really trying to figure out if this is some sort of phase she's going through.
And if so, when will it pass?
Is this normal for 5 year olds?
Are these habits that she picked up in school?
Or is there something deeper bothering her?
Or worse....is it me?
Am I the cause of this problem? Maybe we are spoiling her or letting her get away with too much?
She is an only child after-all, and as much as we tried to not to let it happen, she has become the center of our universe.
So when that's not the case with her peers, maybe that's becoming a problem for her?
Who knows?
I pride myself on being pretty strict though, especially when it comes to manners, and how to treat others.
Big daddy & I try to be consistent with her and for the most part have a "united front" when it comes to most issues with her.
Physical aggression isn't something she has been exposed to- here at home at least, so I have no idea where this has come from.
Maybe this isn't as big a deal as I am making it out to be- but when you put all these incidents together it's upsetting.
At least to me.
I want my sweet gentle little girl back.
Both big daddy & I are working on things with her and hopefully with a bit more consistency with our discipline we will get past this "phase"
Oh lord- please let it be some sort of phase that is derived from frustration and not anything more serious.
No one wants their kid to be "that kid"
That must sound terrible.
I just feel so responsible for every thing that Lulu does.
Especially anything bad or less than perfect.
I need to get over this, I know.
I told a friend about the Canada Day "incident" and she kind of laughed and said "you should see what my kids are capable of...
Don't worry about it- move on- these things happen."
It's advice I'm trying to listen to...trying.

Oh and the entire weekend wasn't a bust- we also went to some other friends for dinner on Saturday and Lulu played so well with their little girl and was excellent, so all was not lost.
Maybe I'm being too sensitive about all of this.
I just want to make sure she is happy and well adjusted- especially in social situations.
Or maybe it's time to write about something else other than my daughter all the time.
she really has become the center of my world.
Maybe that's half the problem

6 comments:

kurrabikid said...

Without knowing the details it's hard to really say ... but I'd put my money on it being a phase.

Anonymous said...

I think all kids go phases like that. I can tell you my two have each definitely had their moments. Lucky for Lulu, she has loving parents to guide her through! Don't worry, she will never be 'that kid'.

Talk soon,
'Rachelle'

Julie said...

Jane has had her moments too. It's probably just a phase.

Mac and Cheese said...

I've heard this age referred to as the 'f-ing fives'. Should be a fun year for both of us!

sam lamb said...

Ahh, Sadie has her moments too. School has introduced new friends, new attitudes...and sometimes I miss the raw version of my daughter. But it comes back now and again, mingling with almost 6-year-old version and I just cross my fingers she makes the right choices eventually.

Karen MEG said...

I'm hoping it's a phase too. Honestly, 5 is usually pretty good, but I find if she's the teeny bit off, maybe tired, or hungry, or heaven forbid BOTH... she's an absolute BEAR (or bitch from hell... but I didn't just call my 5 yo a bitch, you didn't hear that from me).

I think the only thing we can do is hope that the basic foundation that we instill will prevail. Beyond the 5 yo phases, that must happen to the best of us.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

I so hear you. And am in total sympathy. After all, neither of us are mothers of "that" child ;).

Hugs xo