Thursday, June 11, 2009

unplugged


So there has been much improvement in the marriage department here at casapetitegourmand since big daddy got back from L.A.
I think some time apart really helped to put things into perspective- for both of us.
I was definitely feelin' the luv when he got home.
I suppose it didn't hurt that he came home to scented candles burning, some delicious food and well...me.
He supplied the wine.
Straight from Hartley Ostini in Santa Barbara California.
2006 Hitching Post Pinot Noir. bless his sorry ass.
After one sip he was instantly out of the dog house.
Who needs jewelery or flowers?
After 12 years together, what can I say? the man knows me too well.
So after lots of catching up- which was nice- I feel like things are back on track.
I asked him not to email or call everyday while he was gone- just so that we could really have a break.
It's not really a break when we are on skype, or sending a dozen emails a day or talking about each day play by play.
Time to just unplug and think.
One of my biggest issues was how "connected" big daddy is. (and everyone for that matter)
I mean people- get off your phone and pay attention to the damn road! and texting and driving- don't even get me started...
But I digress..
I can completely respect the fact that he runs his own business and needs to be available to clients, but really- 24/7 was getting to be a bit much.
And quite honestly all this texting etc. really isn't always essential- and most often kind of a social waste of time.
My time. or make that OUR time- as in Lulu & I.
Not that I want to control that part of his life- but at least during dinner.
Not too much to ask I think.
So as a result of our "discussion"
aka TURN.THAT.FREAKIN.THING.OFF.OR.I'M.OUTTA.HERE.
Big daddy finishes all calls on the way home, once he's in the driveway he shuts off his phone and computer and just hangs out with Lulu.
Just the two of them- no distractions, just father & daughter chatting about their day.
It makes such a HUGE difference.
I get to enjoy a bit of quiet cooking time- and Lulu is content that she had some quality attention and is really well behaved during dinner.
MUCH less interrupting, lots of funny discussions and everyone seems to be way more chilled.
Big improvement.
As for big daddy & I ending up not talking after Lulu goes to bed- well let's just say that we are trying a new M.O. and having a few nights a week "unplugged".
No computers- maybe a movie that we can both enjoy, a bit of t.v. but much more reading or just hanging together.
well except for when my all time favourite summer show is on.
So You Think You Can Dance.
In the words of Mary Murphy- whaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHaaaaa!!!!!
I love this show.
so no unplugging when it's on.
no double standards happening around here. uhhuh. nope. none at all.
that's it- gotta go. my show's on.


oh and don't feel too bad for big daddy- he's currently out for drinks with friends/clients.
Another goal is to take a night a week each to just do our own thing.
fine by me.
absence really does make the heart grow fonder,
Well that and make time to watch stupid reality t.v.

8 comments:

Don Mills Diva said...

I need at least one evening a week on my own to veg and watch stupid reality tv.

Lynn said...

Glad to hear things are better. I love love love SYTYCD as well...I'm already totally obsessed. CHBEEB!

Mommy Jo said...

I am so where you are. I never thought I'd go through such a rough time in my marriage. (did you see my Mad Housewife post???) I'm almost where I want things 2 b. Thanks for sharing.

PS - We are in 12 years of marriage too!

Sarah said...

You are leaving me with some good ideas....thanks! And I am happy for you and your "reconnection!"

kgirl said...

My comment on your original post about this a few weeks ago got eaten, and I didn't have the tiem to repost it, but I will say, this is what my relationship with Chris can be like. It's cyclical I think, and when you've been with someone that long, things can't always be up. The important thing is to recover and reconnect from the downs. And it sounds like you have, just fine.

Call me on one of your nights, and we can drink wine and peoplewatch!

amanda said...

This is great... we definitely need to do this too. Although I doubt my husband will ever be unplugged. He practically brings that damn crackberry to bed with him. GAH. Yeah, I'm with you on this one. Everyone is just way too connected these days. Makes me crazy.

Mac and Cheese said...

Nothing kills a good mood like my husband coming into the house after work while on the phone as everyone waits for his or her greeting like desperate puppy dogs. Good decision.

Haley-O said...

I totally need to UNPLUG and veg. Totally. With my husband. It's tough to unwind these days -- with so much going on, the kids, the work. I'm glad you got some SYTYCD!! in your life and to reconnect with your husband. :)