Tuesday, January 23, 2007

solitary butterfly

Because of the fact that I work freelance and am never really certain which days exactly that I'll be working, it makes it a bit difficult to sign Lulu up for specific toddler programs.
My inner mom-guilt has been kicking in lately, and I find myself wondering if I'm providing enough social interaction for her.
We go out for long walks most days.
I usually try to take her to the library at least once a week.
There is usually a play date or so per week, unfortunately, most of my friends with babies are still under a year, so it's not quite as exciting as I think Lulu might like, but hey, at least she's around other children.
Weather permitting we usually head to the park.
We eat out at restaurants a couple of times a week (that's considered social isn't it?)
We occasionally visit big daddy at work, which is a fun and interesting environment.
Shopping and errands count as stimulation for lulu, right?...
This week we went to an indoor play gym drop-in centre.
It was okay.
I thought Lulu would be excited about all the other kids there that were her age, but instead she was more into the different toys and plastic slides and well...me.
She wanted to hang out and play with me.
I was game, because truth be told, I really wasn't interested in talking to the various clusters of other moms.
That probably sounds totally anti-social I know, but I just really wasn't in the mood to small talk with a bunch of women that I probably have very little in common with aside from the ups and downs of potty training, sleeplessness, teething, blah blah blah..
I'm sure everyone was really nice, it's just that I actually like being on my own.
I'm very comfortable doing my own thing.
Big daddy is the same.
and now Lulu seems to be following in our foot steps.
Don't get me wrong, I'm actually a pretty social person, but sometimes I find the whole "mom talk thing" kind of boring.
Not all the time, but some days I'm just into mommy chit chat.
I've never really felt like a part of any group or community, I'm not sure why.
Maybe it's the fact that we moved so often while I was growing up.
I'm okay with that.
But I don't ever want Lulu to feel like an "outsider", at the same time, I don't want her to feel like she has to be surrounded by people all the time in order to feel happy.
There's nothing wrong being alone sometimes.
When I ask her what she wants to do each day her answer is always the same.
"home" "jammies" "mommy".
My kind of day (especially when it's minus 20 outside)
but then I say, are you sure, why don't we go and play with some kids, or go to the park?
"nope" "home".
Maybe I'm giving this all too much thought, eventually she'll want to be out all the time and totally bored with hanging out with Big daddy & I.
So in the meantime I guess I'm happy to indulge her home-body tendencies.
Especially during the month of January.


Anonymous said...

Quick, edit your post, you didn't use your daughter's nickname and I think you want to...because you usually do. Hope you don't mind I left this in the comments section...you don't have an email address posted.

crazymumma said...

Ya...I was wondering about what anonymous mentioned as well....

I am sure Lulu is perfectly content. And why wouldn't she want to play with you and not all the other kids? She is really young still, and in my experience they do not become super social until later (and then watch out...you will need a separate day planner just for her).
My girls were exactly the same, and in fact my 5 year old stil is and from what I see at most paly centres, most little ones prefer the parents over the other kids.
ps. You already know it but she is a little thing of total cuteness....

petite gourmand said...

oops, thanks guys.
"lulu" was climbing all over me so I was a bit distracted.
The kid just can't get enough of me I guess...
and I thought I wasn't part of any "community"
guess I was wrong.
thanks for watching my back.

Anonymous said...

No problem!

I experienced the same feelings when my oldest was Lulu's age, let's just say I wasted some money learning the hard way that it's not necessary for children at that age to be enrolled in anything (it's really for the parents). I won't make the same mistake with my youngest (20 months). It seems we are putting more and more pressure on wee ones these days. They start school at such a young age as it is, not to mention the schedules that are expected of so many kids (having to rise and shine so early for daycare...or for that matter just to attend activities). Let's face it, they have a lifetime ahead of them for rushing to make appointments, following orders, and doing things "they have to/should do". All of these organized activities for babies, toddlers and preschoolers are relatively new ideas, we all survived and thrived without doing baby gymnastics or whatever the heck else is out there when we were 1, 2, 3 years old! So just enjoy those long mornings in your jammies hanging out, Lulu is learning alot more from the one on one time she's getting with you than she would with some other 20 month old child!

Mrs. Chicky said...

The Mommy thing is boring! Every week I schlep my kid to playgroups and music classes. I do it in the spirit of socialization, but when I get there I find myself not feeling social at all. Tired, actually. Exhausted by it all. From what you wrote I think you're doing a great job with Lulu, playgroups or not. Enjoy those jammies!

Cheryl said...

It sounds like you are doing plenty to socialize and stimulate your daughter. Most of the time, our kids really want to spend one-on-one time with us.

myredwagon said...

Even though we have a nanny and have decided to hold off on all the lessons and activities until Gracie is older, I still get pangs of guilt and doubt. Should we have chosen the daycare route? Is she getting enough interaction with other kids. It's crazy. Your daughter sounds like a happy, adorable, sweet little girl. Looks like you are doing a fine job.

Lisa b said...

Oh yeah totally nurture the home/jammies/mommie thing its FREEZING outside.
I sometimes get that same worry that I am not stimulating my daugher enough but I try and keep in mind that many of us just stayed home and hung out with mom until we were four.
I also count eating out as a social event and I hear you on the mom thing. Its great to have drop-ins for when you feel social but mommy talk isn't really my thing either.

Sheena said...

Here's your second blogworld tag from me...

kittenpie said...

I remember GGC posting about much the same thing, that she wasn't really into the mommy scene and Archer preferred to just hang with her. 'm too shy to try to break into a group, too, so we really didn't do much of the group stuff when Pumpkinpie was little, but she's into it herself, which is kind of nice to see, given my years of painful, blushing shyness.