Wednesday, April 11, 2007
I can't get no sleep
Lately I feel as though I'm totally dragging my ass.
going through each day as though I'm in auto pilot, but without much extra energy to spare.
the truth of the matter is that the lack of uninterrupted sleep is really getting to me.
yeah me and every other parent out there.
But the frustrating thing is that Lulu used to be a pretty decent little sleeper.
we had her on a fairly good schedule from about 3 months up until somewhere around 16 months.
she would usually go down around 8p.m. and sleep straight through until 8a.m.
when I would hear people complain about sleep deprivation, I just didn't get it.
but now I certainly do.
Since around November, bedtime has been all over the map.
sometimes it goes okay, but the majority of the time getting lulu down is usually an entire hour+ of reading, singing, back rubbing etc.
then just when we think she is down for the night, she starts screaming.
a few times we just let her cry-thinking "who is in control here?"
but 99.9% of the time we end up going to get her.
having to go through the entire bedtime ritual over again.
by the time we get her down some nights it's almost 10p.m.!!
which leaves next to no quiet adult time for big daddy and I.
So we end up staying up too late, catching up on emails, blogging, reading and watching all our favourite t.v. shows.
When we finally decide to go to bed (that is if we haven't fallen asleep on the sofa)
Lulu usually wakes up.
this isn't every single night, but 4 or maybe 5 nights a week.
When it's my turn to go to her I usually rock her back to sleep and put her back in her crib.
Then do it all over again when she wakes up again at 3 a.m.
Big daddy usually caves and brings her in bed with us.
which means NO sleep for big daddy or I, as sleeping with Lulu is like sleeping with a wild animal.
plus she's a total bed hog, most often deciding to sleep horizontal on our queen sized bed.
then around 6 a.m. or sometimes 5- it's "wake up mommy!!!" while she is bouncing up and down on the bed.
then out of the blue she will start sleeping normally again.
down at 7:30-8 until 7a.m.
those nights are far and few between, and also bitter sweet as we are becoming so conditioned to being woken up that I usually wake up automatically.
anyhow all this babbling about Lulu's sleep schedule or lack there of is really about how burned out I've been feeling lately.
I seriously don't know how full time working mothers do it.
I'm assuming it's a stage and that eventually she will out grow this.
and that it's probably because she is having a hard time cutting all her teeth.
But it doesn't make it easier.
I was never a huge coffee drinker, but now I NEED coffee to get through each day.
and by coffee I mean double (sometimes triple) espressos.
even her naps seem to be sporadic.
some-days she snoozes without a fuss, others she can't be bothered.
She's got places to go & people to see.
I know a few people that are really strict about schedules, and therefor have really good sleepers.
It's probably my fault as our weeks are never the same.
Being freelance, I don't work 9 to 5- five days a week and often bring her with me when I'm working on a job.
She makes a great little assistant.
But as a result her schedule is a bit relaxed.
Perhaps a bit TOO relaxed.
Of course some days are worse than others, yesterday not so good.
today so far so good.
Or maybe this lack of energy is not sleep deprivation but sunlight deprivation.
what's up with this weather?
Is the sun ever going to shine?
am I going to have to get myself one of those artificial sunlight boxes that you wear on your head?
okay I'll stop my whining.
Yeah, yeah..April showers bring May flowers.
But what the hell does April snow bring?
Is anyone else feeling the post winter/not quite spring blues??
or is it just me?