Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I can't get no sleep

Lately I feel as though I'm totally dragging my ass.
going through each day as though I'm in auto pilot, but without much extra energy to spare.
the truth of the matter is that the lack of uninterrupted sleep is really getting to me.
yeah me and every other parent out there.
But the frustrating thing is that Lulu used to be a pretty decent little sleeper.
we had her on a fairly good schedule from about 3 months up until somewhere around 16 months.
she would usually go down around 8p.m. and sleep straight through until 8a.m.
when I would hear people complain about sleep deprivation, I just didn't get it.
but now I certainly do.
Since around November, bedtime has been all over the map.
sometimes it goes okay, but the majority of the time getting lulu down is usually an entire hour+ of reading, singing, back rubbing etc.
then just when we think she is down for the night, she starts screaming.
a few times we just let her cry-thinking "who is in control here?"
but 99.9% of the time we end up going to get her.
having to go through the entire bedtime ritual over again.
by the time we get her down some nights it's almost 10p.m.!!
which leaves next to no quiet adult time for big daddy and I.
So we end up staying up too late, catching up on emails, blogging, reading and watching all our favourite t.v. shows.
When we finally decide to go to bed (that is if we haven't fallen asleep on the sofa)
Lulu usually wakes up.
this isn't every single night, but 4 or maybe 5 nights a week.
When it's my turn to go to her I usually rock her back to sleep and put her back in her crib.
Then do it all over again when she wakes up again at 3 a.m.
Big daddy usually caves and brings her in bed with us.
which means NO sleep for big daddy or I, as sleeping with Lulu is like sleeping with a wild animal.
plus she's a total bed hog, most often deciding to sleep horizontal on our queen sized bed.
then around 6 a.m. or sometimes 5- it's "wake up mommy!!!" while she is bouncing up and down on the bed.
then out of the blue she will start sleeping normally again.
down at 7:30-8 until 7a.m.
those nights are far and few between, and also bitter sweet as we are becoming so conditioned to being woken up that I usually wake up automatically.
anyhow all this babbling about Lulu's sleep schedule or lack there of is really about how burned out I've been feeling lately.
I seriously don't know how full time working mothers do it.
I'm assuming it's a stage and that eventually she will out grow this.
and that it's probably because she is having a hard time cutting all her teeth.
But it doesn't make it easier.
I was never a huge coffee drinker, but now I NEED coffee to get through each day.
and by coffee I mean double (sometimes triple) espressos.

even her naps seem to be sporadic.
some-days she snoozes without a fuss, others she can't be bothered.
She's got places to go & people to see.
I know a few people that are really strict about schedules, and therefor have really good sleepers.
It's probably my fault as our weeks are never the same.
Being freelance, I don't work 9 to 5- five days a week and often bring her with me when I'm working on a job.
She makes a great little assistant.
But as a result her schedule is a bit relaxed.
Perhaps a bit TOO relaxed.
Of course some days are worse than others, yesterday not so good.
today so far so good.
Or maybe this lack of energy is not sleep deprivation but sunlight deprivation.
what's up with this weather?
Is the sun ever going to shine?
am I going to have to get myself one of those artificial sunlight boxes that you wear on your head?
okay I'll stop my whining.
Yeah, yeah..April showers bring May flowers.
But what the hell does April snow bring?
Is anyone else feeling the post winter/not quite spring blues??
or is it just me?


amanda said...

YES! Jack has been a handful lately... but with him it's his eating and drinking and diaper changing and of course the whining. Everything has been a battle. And by bedtime I'm totally exhausted.

It's been unseasonably cold here too... which only seems to make all of us grumpy. Hang in there... warm weather isn't too far off. Hope it's sooner rather than later for you guys:)

Ms. Porter said...

I do think it's a stage, I went through it with my oldest (now 4) and for a short time with my youngest who is about a month younger than Lulu. It sucks. I think sleep deprivation is the worst part of being a parent (that and the guilt and worry). Hang in there, unfortunately that's all I can offer up.

crazymumma said...

oh honey...I am so grim and bitter right now about sleep and weather. I think a change of season is coming which always seems to breed a malaise in the general population, and sleep disorders in the young or para menopausal (me).

Good luck.

Sarah said...

Oh yeah...I'm getting bitter over here in Michigan...seriously, a blizzard on April 11th? Come on! But fear not...I really believe next week is going to bring us all some decent weather (they are at least saying mid-50's here, that's park weather if you ask me!)..and you know what they say about fresh knocks the kiddos out! Here's to some great future naps!

Gabriella said...

Lack of sleep is seriously what ruins everything. I would do fine if I knew every night that Samantha would sleep the whole way through. I'm in the same shoes here my friend. Ughhh.. and yes when is the weather going to get better!
You can always email me if you need to commiserate longer ;-)

Mrs. Chicky said...

We've been lacking in the nap department around here, too. I wonder if it's a growth spurt or something.

I hope you all get some sleep soon.

Laural Dawn said...

The sleep battles are exhausting. My son goes from his bed to our bed to his bed. We have tried everything. We're really trying for a bedtime routine, but it's very very hard.
Toddlers have a mind of their own - especially where sleep is concerned!

Cheryl said...

I completely understand what you mean about the lack of sleep. I hope this is a stage. In 22 months, my little one has only slept through the night on 2 occasions. As a working mom, when Josh gets up around 11:00 - midnight, I just bring him into bed with us. This is an awful habit; but we all do our best... right!

kittenpie said...

I'm hoping my total ennui and ass-dragging is because of the delay in getting spring here, too.

As to sleep, we are total schedule nazis most of the time, but every once in a while there are wakings or weird nights. I keep a futon in her room and if she wakes, I sleep in there with her - she never comes to our bed either , for the same reason - I just can't sleep with a wild badger.

cinnamon gurl said...

I hear you on the sleep... glad you got it sorted and are sleeping again. Fingers crossed for me now...