Saturday, April 14, 2007
saturday night fever
well, my last post was a rant about my feelings of melancholy combined with burn-out, caused by lack of sleep mixed with the lack of sunshine.
But it's the weekend and hey looky looky the sun finally decided to make an appearance!
and I actually managed to get more than three hours of sleep last night.
our bed was awash in golden sunlight first thing this morning and instead of slowly waking up and snuggling with big daddy on a Saturday morning, I had a little someone pulling my eyelashes open with her tiny fingers (after she finished peeing in our bed)
Not exactly the Saturday morning I had been hoping for.
I was sleeping so deeply last night that I barely remember big daddy bringing lulu into our room at around 1 a.m.
she totally has him wrapped around her finger.
well that and the endless blood curdling screaming kinda worked.
anyhow I snoozed, despite our uninvited sleeping companion and actually managed to get some much needed zzz's.
Regardless of the premature wake-up call, I felt rested and ready to do a bit of baking.
So I whipped up a walnut buttermilk coffee cake for some friends that were coming over in the afternoon.
I also put together some roasted red pepper, pesto & walnut chicken salad sandwiches.
It's really much more fun cooking for four than it is for two.
So mr & mrs dustbunny and their ubber cute little boy Sammy came over for some lunch and some laughs.
The peroni beer didn't hurt.
funny how the lack of regular sleep and crazy pace of being a parent makes you a total lightweight.
Oh so nice to catch a wee bit of a buzz on just one beer in the middle of the afternoon.
So lulu is totally smitten by little sammy and totally loves him.
Who could blame her though? Little s is really such a sweet little guy.
those dimples, those eyes, that smile...
hell I'm smitten.
But the lack of sleep the previous night for lulu and lack of nap was starting to show toward the end of the day.
she was getting a bit on the diva side.
but we figured, oh well no nap today, that means she will probably go down early tonight and sleep straight through the night.
there was plenty of screaming and crying tonight.
In fact I think she has been screaming for approx. 4 hours now.
big daddy and I keep taking turns sitting with her and rocking her.
the second we put her in the crib-
Are we horrible parents?
should we have forced her to nap today even though she didn't want to because we had friends over and was excited?
I know, kids need their sleep, and I really don't think Lulu is getting enough of it, but should we put our entire life on hold?
I was trying to be patient, rocking, singing, kissing..
but I actually got to a point tonight where I raised my voice and got really pissed at her.
I mean really pissed.
I know big daddy was feeling the same.
now I feel really guilty.
She's still so tiny, and was just totally over tired.
oh the guilt.
were we really angry because she totally ruined a perfectly good porcini crusted tenderloin with a Cab Merlot reduction with a side of roasted asparagus?
or that as a couple it is next to impossible to have an uninterrupted conversation?
or that it feels as though we have next to no quiet down time?
or for that matter...if I'm going to be frank...sex?
I love lulu more than life, but sometimes enough is enough.
If she ever complains about being an only child, she really only has herself to blame.
kidding..well sort of.
oh lord, one more week and it will be official.
the terrible two's.
despite all of this she is still over the top adorable and the love of our lives (what's left of them) and I wouldn't trade any of this for anything.
well, maybe just a night..no, make that 24 hours..of just being me.
or even better getting the chance to be a couple.
because as much as I miss being me, I miss making out.
having a deep uninterrupted conversation.
you catch my drift.
whew, she finally fell asleep and it's still only 10 o'clock..
the sad part is that now we are both too tired to even brush our teeth never mind...
you catch my drift.