Friday, July 27, 2007

gone daddy gone

Big daddy occasionally travels for work.
Nothing ever too far or too long.
Usually he goes away anywhere from 2-3 days.
But since last Friday he's been away on a tropical island in the Caribbean "working".
No cell phone reception, just emails.
We did manage to talk once or twice, but I think in the ten years we have been together this is the longest we have be apart.
I'm really happy that he has had the opportunity to work on a fun project, and even happier that he will have enjoyed some much deserved and needed personal time.
In the days leading up to the trip neither one of us was looking forward to him leaving.
But truth be told, it's been such a crazy week that I've barely had time to miss him.
It's also been kind of nice just Lulu and I.
She has been amazing all week and I feel closer and more connected to her than ever.
so sweet and well behaved, that's what happens when she gets mama time 24/7.
At first it felt weird sleeping alone, but again I have to admit..the extra space, pillows and no snoring has been pretty nice.
I feel horrible saying all this, but it's true.
Before big daddy I lived alone- no room mates or pets. just me.
I really enjoy being by myself.
Now having lulu in my life I so rarely get any alone time.
So as much as I missed big daddy, I've discovered that I really love my own space.
I love being in a relationship, and I love that I have an amazing partner, but I have learned alot about myself this week.
Mostly, that I am OKay being on my own.
I can handle it, and deal with Lulu without help.
For a while I had my doubts, it's easy to forget what it's like to be independent when you are in marriage busy looking after a toddler, we work really well as a team, so it can be daunting thinking about parenting alone for a long period of time.
Hats off to any single parents out there, that's for sure.
Not that I'm not realllly excited about him coming home, because I love him even more than I did before he left
(absence really does tend to make the heart grow fonder)
it's also easy to forget what you have until you no longer have it.
But there's nothing wrong with flying solo from time to time.

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