Wednesday, July 11, 2007
looking for love
Lately we have been on a bit of a mission.
Not a mission that unlike the one many of my single friends who are looking for companionship are on.
No...not that kind of a mission...tsk tsk..I'm far too conservative for that kind of kinky stuff.
Our sex life may be a tad lack lustre, but I'm not quite that desperate.
I'm talking about finding new "parent friends".
Not really for us, per say.
More for Lulu.
We already have a fairly full social circle,most of whom we really don't get to see enough as it is.
But many of our friends don't have children, and the ones that do, we always seem to have a hard time jiving our schedules or their kids are still a little too young for lulu to really "play" with.
So we have decided to come out from under our anti-social rocks and try to make an effort to make new "parent friends" in the neighbourhood.
But it's proving to be more challenging than I thought.
When it was just the two of us, it could also be a challenge to find like minded, fun couples to hang with where we actually got along well with both people.
Four different personalities can be tricky.
You add a couple of extra pint sized personalities into the mix and it's even more difficult.
We've had a few "dates" with some new families in the past few weeks.
The first family big daddy knew through work, so we invited them over.
They have a daughter around the same age as Lulu and live close by so we had high hopes.
Hmm, we have similar careers, kids the same age, same neighbourhood...things are looking up.
But as nice as this couple was (is) their daughter was far from social to lulu.
Lulu wanted to show and share all her her toys but this little girl kept hoarding them or worse throwing them at her.
Lulu is super affectionate and extremely sweet, loves to play with other children and is very kind and gentle, but this kid could care less.
Eventually Lulu just gave up and kept her distance.
The parents were very apologetic and I think pretty embarrassed.
So the evening turned out to be a bit of a bust.
On a few other occasions we have met up with other couples and same thing, the parents are nice, but the kid is aggressive.
I know I'm probably being overly protective, but how can I not, when my sweet little girl just wants to play nice?
There have been a few exceptions, in one case she gets along really well with a little girl on the street, but unfortunately her parents (mom) really isn't someone I feel comfortable around.
Or there is another little girl who she plays extremely well with, the parents are great, they live close by- but..
They are super strict when it comes to bed/nap time (as in 6:30-7) so bbqs and evening get-togethers are not really an option.
We were starting to get a complex and wonder if maybe we are being too picky.
when finally, a few weeks ago a new family moved in across the street.
and they have a little girl around the same age as lulu.
they invited us over for a bbq.
we had a ton in common (crazy stuff, like the fact that my mother-in-law knows their mother and that they are from the same place out west...small world)
The kids had a blast.
so did we.
I never imagined it would be so hard to find other families that you have things in common with.
People who you can hope to be close friends with years from now.
Building relationships takes time so we need to be patient (at least that's what I keep telling my single friends)
I just want Lulu to have some of the same experiences as I did growing up.
Like for example, Pizza night every Friday with the family down the street alternating from house to house each week.
We all still keep in touch 25 years later even though we all live in different parts of the country and have moved many times since.
Or drop-ins on Christmas eve with the neighbours. (or Chanukah in big daddy's case)
Why isn't there an on line "families seeking other families" web site?
oh..yeah..I guess it's called blogging.
Our tag-line might read something like this:
Fun (or at least we like to think so) Family:seeking another fun family to have occasion bbq's, get togethers and play dates with.
Kids must be kind (for the most part), not into hitting, pushing or biting and not into running wild & trashing the place.
Parents must enjoy food & wine, interesting conversation (but nothing too deep- too hard to actually have an uninterrupted conversation with small kids in the vicinity)
and have a good sense of humour (especially in a sarcastic kind of way)
and at the very least be half as picky as we are.
oh and if you are reading this and we know you (L&B, C&D, D& L or Jb., MM & BP , J & hub & J, D &L or any of our awesome childless pals) you know this doesn't apply to you, and we wish we could see you all more often than we do. ;)