Saturday, July 07, 2007
in the pits
If life is a bowl of cherries, why is it that lately I feel like I'm somewhere in the pits?
Maybe a slightly cheesy exaggeration, but for some reason I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed these past few weeks.
Summer is such a short season, and I really want to make the most of it, but between working (which I'm loving, don't get me wrong) a booked up calendar and trying to convince Lulu that nap time is essential to not only her happiness and well being but mommy's sanity as well; I'm feeling a tad spent.
Thus the reason for not having time to blog all week.
no naps + 2 new teeth + high temperature + weeks of sleepless nights...no make that months= one haggard mama.
I really hate to complain (though this is exactly what I'm doing) because, life is really good.
too good in some ways.
but I feel like I just can't keep up sometimes.
from the minute I get up in the morning (which sadly is waaaaay before I would like to arise from hopefully a peaceful night sleep. not.) it's like I go into auto pilot.
feed lulu while emptying the dishwasher.
1 minute bathroom break-which quite frankly is so not enough time in my opinion, but that's life. Lulu needs out of her high chair at this exact moment.
One more reason to have a high fibre diet.
scarf back a smoothie or a quick bowl of cereal.
wash & dress lulu.
pop her in-front of the t.v. so I can try to grab a shower without her pulling the shower curtain back and getting water everywhere.
get dressed etc.
pack bag with snacks, toys trying not to forget anything essential.
try to get out of the house before 10 a.m. for some kind of morning activity.
get back to house by around noon-ish to feed lulu.
eat a wrap or something quick and easy.
read lulu some stories and try to put her down for a nap.
if that doesn't work, try to go for a long walk in the stroller and fingers crossed that she passes out.
if that doesn't work, jump in the car and hope that by the time we get to our destination she will have fallen asleep.
If that doesn't work consider sneaking a shot of cold Smirnoff vanilla vodka from the freezer. kidding.
if not, more entertaining her. sigh.
get groceries or run errands.
bath lulu & get her ready for bed.
big daddy gets home. say hi. barely.
how was your day? blah blah blah.
big daddy checks his email or the dreaded facebook. grrrr.
big daddy takes out the recycling and garbage and waters the garden.
big daddy redeems himself.
read lulu three stories. try to coax her into bed somewhere between 8 & 9 p.m.
eat dinner with big daddy. drink wine.
clean up kitchen after dinner.
watch some t.v. or read.
go to bed.
big daddy eventually comes to bed, often waking me or lulu up. grrrr.
lulu usually wakes up crying.
one of us (usually me) goes to comfort her.
if it's me I rock her in her room for 30 min to an hour. stumble back to bed. try to get back to sleep.
if big daddy goes to get her, he immediately brings her into bed with us which means she completely hogs the bed and digs her tiny cute, yet very annoying feet into me all night long.
lulu wakes up somewhere between 5 and 7.
7 being a complete blessing.
start all over again.
after a few rounds of this, you start to feel a bit robotic.
and by rounds, I'm talking two years worth so far.
There are days that I feel like big daddy is more of a room-mate than my husband.
A room-mate who you bicker with 50% of the time and who you feel like some-days you barely even know.
we are both pretty much exhausted, so I'll chalk it up to that, but still.
Lately it does make me wonder if other couples are in the same boat.
But we keep on going, plugging away day after day.
In fact the more tired I am the more productive I am- which probably sounds insane, but it's true.
I become a woman on a mission to not let sleep & sex deprivation from getting her down.
If I'm going to walk around with bags under my eyes and cobwebs...well..err.. anyhow...
I'm going to at least have things in order.
It makes me feel sane and together knowing my house is clean and well organized, even if inside I'm feeling pretty chaotic.
Or that Lulu is getting enough interaction with kids at the park or on play dates, even if I would rather be sitting in the back yard flipping through a magazine and not making small talk with some other mom or nanny running around after a two year old. not every day just some days. depending if it was a 5 or a 7 a.m. start.
Or that our meals are memorable and delicious. usually prepared from scratch. I am a foodie after all. I can't let that slide.
Or that we still book lots of social get together with friends. which I still feel we don't get enough time to do.
I'm starting to blabber on.
but I guess what I'm trying to say is that all is not this perfect bowl of cherries.
But would I trade any of this for anything else?
Not a chance.
I may be exhausted and a little burned out, but I know it's just a phase that will pass.
And ultimately everyday with lulu is precious to me, regardless of how tired I feel.
because really, she is the sweetest little cherry in the orchard.
and hell, big daddy is pretty sweet too...well at least 50% of the time.