pretty in pink

I just finished writing a big long post about how I'm not a really big fan of all the hustle and bustle surrounding the holidays.
But after reading, I hit delete.
who really wants to read a bunch of bah hum bug Christmas bashing?

On a more positive note...Lulu had her first Christmas concert and was pretty funny.
She was yawning throughout most of it and was...well quite animated.
It was also really nice to meet some of the other parents at her school, seeing as I've never really had the chance before.
I'm looking forward to trying to be a bit more social in the new year and hopefully getting together with some of them.

Speaking of the new year, I've already started my "new year's resolutions" list.
One of them is trying to be more positive (thus the reason for deleting my original post) another is to try to be more social.
When I look back and compare last year's holiday season to this one, I've come to the sad conclusion that we are not nearly as socially active as we used to be.
I had every intention of throwing a few swank dinner parties or maybe even have an open house some weekend...but I just ran out of steam.
I'm not sure why...well maybe it's that having a two year old really kicked my ass this year.
Most of the year was spent in a sleepless state and this doesn't leave much energy to entertain.
yes yes..positive...
Anyhow things are looking much brighter.
Lulu goes to bed early and stays there most nights.
I'm starting to feel like I'm catching up with myself.
does that make sense?
I spend so much time with Lulu that I often forget what I want.
like getting together and cooking for my friends.
I love being a mother, but sometimes it's nice just being me.
I had the great fortune of having the day to myself and even though I was stuck in traffic, white knuckling it in the mall parking lots, sweating in my winter coat, dying to pee and waiting in long line-ups while Christmas shopping, I had a really nice day.
I got to think.
I got to people watch and not be in mom mode saying "don't touch, look only, stay close, hold my hand, do you have to use the potty, don't touch, put that back...."
That in itself was a real treat.
even being alone in the car stuck in traffic was quite relaxing.
loud music of my choice. check.
heated seat. check.
herbal ginger tea. check.
hell it was practically like being in my own little Volkswagen spa.
anyhow, I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, other than that It's much easier to be positive when I'm feeling positive.
and when I've had some time to myself.

On a completely unrelated topic...
Big daddy is out for the evening at a Christmas party (at least one of us is feeling social) there's really nothing much on t.v. but Pretty In Pink happens to be on.
I had the soundtrack back in the day and I also thought Andrew McCarthy was super cute.
In fact I will admit to really liking this movie.
hey it was 1986...so sue me.
Watching it tonight, I can't help but to laugh...sure it's overly dramatic..but ya know what?
I still like the music and even though I've seen it a bunch of times it's still entertaining.
Duckie is still funny, James Spader is still a complete ass and well...okay Andrew McCarthy is still kind of cute.
I have it's a Wonderful Life recorded as well as a bunch of other holiday classics but hey what's more festive than a little OMD, New Order, Psychedelic Furs, Echo and the Bunnymen and some seriously puffy hair?

let it snow let it snow....

I've always been a big fan of snow storms.
good thing I live in the "great white north" koo loo koo koo koo kookooo kooo....
my tribute to Bob & Doug.
there's something so beautiful about watching all the trees covered in big white fluffy snow flakes.
The drama of it all.
there's also something kind of fun about layering up, putting on the most ridiculously fury warm snow toque and heading out for an adventure...even if it is only is to shovel the driveway or pull Lulu on her toboggan down the street to grab some groceries and a hot chocolate along the way.
Everything seems so still, so fresh so...well winter.
Only winter doesn't officially start until next week.
Looks like it's going to be a loooong winter if it's already looking like Kapuskasing outside downtown Toronto in early December.
The only thing is...well....I already have cabin fever.
Nothing like being cooped up with a two and a half year old (on antibiotics due to yet another ear infection) that kind of sucks the life out of me.
I'm all for baking cookies, making home-made Christmas cards, reading book after book, playing hide and seek (oh there you are in the closet with your pink flashlight!!! what a surprise) again and again....but it kind of feels a bit daunting, knowing that there is another three+ months of this.
I'm finding myself looking at the clock far more often than I do say in...October or June...
Is 4 p.m. too early to have a glass of wine?
lord help me, I was even eyeing the Shmirnoff vanilla vodka in the freezer today while rummaging around for dinner tonight.
hooray for frozen turkey meatballs!!!
Am I becoming the annoying wife who calls the office (studio) everyday at 4ish asking (pleading) what time do you think you might be home tonight?
I do love the winter. honest.
I am a home body after-all and love the idea behind getting cozy and hunkering down on a cold winter night.
Only...well I need to get out.
If only I could get my car out of the driveway..

ho ho ho

Last weekend we paid a little visit to the big man in red.
There were no line-ups, soft mellow Christmas music playing in the back ground, no bossy elves anxious for their smoke break telling the kids to wait their turn, just a calm and soothing Mrs. Clause gently coaxing lulu to come over and sit on Santa's lap.
Where did this small Christmas miracle take place you might be wondering?
Believe it or not- Downtown Eaton Centre (or whatever it is now officially called) upstairs at the Bay on a Friday night.
Seriously!
Lulu was a little bit apprehensive at first, but after a few minutes she got comfortable on Santa's knee, told him she liked his nice soft velvet suit and that all she wanted was a cake for Christmas.
yup. a cake.
no dolls, DVD's or toys in general- just a cake.
Santa laughed and gave big daddy and I a look that said "is this kid deprived or what?" ho ho ho.
So I'm off the hook- no trips Toy's R' Us this year, just need to pop into William Sonoma to pick up one of these instead.
Or not...perhaps a little stop at a local bakery might be the ticket instead.
I'm sure we still won't be able to resist a trip or two to Master Mind Toys or Mables Fables for a few little stocking stuffers though.

check it

I don't normally do this...but I have to admit, I really love this story that I produced.
Mostly because Lulu is in it and had so much fun and I think the shots turned out quite nicely.
We shot this on a very hot day In August btw.
So if you haven't seen this month's issue of Today's Parent Magazine, pick up an issue.

another year....

I remember a time when I couldn't wait for my birthday.
cake, candles and celebrating with friends and family.
Or those birthdays when I actually couldn't wait to get another year older.
Imagine?
Like 13 (woo who! an official teenager), 16 (drivers licence), 18 (cocktails in Quebec anyone?) 19 (legal drinking age)
21 (rolling rock in Ellicottville NY whoopee)
but somehow I can't seem to excited about getting another year older.
something not so amazing about turning 37.
Besides I'm pretty sure I can drink everywhere on the planet-
except maybe in Libya, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Quatar, and Sudan.
Though I'm not planning any vacations to any of these places any time soon.
Big daddy and I had a nice weekend planned- an afternoon at the spa and a nice dinner out.
But Big daddy was sick as a dog all weekend so Lulu and I went to my parents instead.
I felt bad leaving him all sniffly and feeling crappy, but I'm sure we would have been more of a hindrance to his getting better than if we had stayed home.
Besides Lulu was sooo excited to see her grandparents after not having had seen them for almost six weeks.
My mom, lulu & I ended up having a nice spontaneous lunch at Hillebrand Winery.
It was exactly what I was in the mood for.

spending the day with my two favourite gals.
My lunch was really good- as usual.
I especially loved the wild mushroom salad with truffle oil and sheeps milk fresh cheese.
yum.

and wine at lunch is always a good thing.
Lulu was really well behaved, considering I really didn't bring my usual restaurant bag of tricks.
crayons, puzzles, etch-o-sketch, mini books.
so instead she insisted on buttering our bread and sipping mint tea.
best birthday present ever.
We got snowed in, which in some ways was fine, because big daddy said he needed more quiet time.
So while he was vertical on the sofa sipping neocitrine we spent the day at
The Great Wolf Lodge.
What a trip that place is.
Not sure if I could handle more than 24 hours there, but Lulu was in heaven.
We drove back today, had a nice weekend- was sad big daddy felt so sick and couldn't join us.
so that's it. my birthday so far in a nut shell.
nothing too exciting.
And though I'm not exactly thrilled to be reminded about getting another year older, I am glad that I have such a great family.
Especially my mom who is really the best, and my sweet lulu who seriously didn't stop talking the entire drive home.
Including her special version of "happy birsstday to mama" happy birsstday to mommy"
"I love her I love her...Happy birssthday to mommy"
What more can a girl wish for on her birthday?

glogg blogg

I believe the last post had something to do with how over-the-top cute lulu is these days.
well she is still cute as a button...but well..definitely knows how to push my buttons.
That's for sure.
We took her to the Swedish Christmas festival down on the waterfront last weekend.
She has decided to skip napping- which in some ways is great, because now we can just do things during the day and not worry about getting home between 12-3 for her nap.
But in other ways it's well.....hell.
By 4 p.m. my little angel can turn into a little she-devil on the drop of a dime.
Also, no naps means no blogging for me.
or anything else for that matter.
well except things that involve crayons, glitter glue, toys and anything else interesting to a two year old.
the child is very intense when it comes to her crafts, that's for sure.


Anyhow I'm thrilled that she has tapped into her creative side and loves doing stuff like this, because truth be told, so do I.
But all this lack of napping also means that our sweet Lulu is completely overtired and run down.
She still won't sleep through the night and keeps waking up in the middle of the night, stealthily trying to make her way into our bed.
We usually end up taking her back into her room- though one of us usually wakes up in her bed.
Good thing we got her a really good mattress..
so as a result of all this naplessness- we are all sick with colds yet again.
wah wah wah...
but nothing so bad that a warm cup of Swedish glogg won't cure.

mmmmm...warm mulled spiced red wine....
So the month of November was spent in a bit of a transition phase.
we went from raking the leaves to shovelling the snow over night.
and are also trying to adapt to Lulu's new schedule.
Another great thing about no naps is a much earlier bed time.
As in 7 p.m.
woo who!
This means that big daddy and I actually have several hours in the evening to ourselves.
I have to say that I'm loving it.
At first I was all stressed out that Lulu wasn't napping like the 80% of other kids her age (according to everything that I've read) but there are some things I can't control.
We still have quiet time from 1-3.
which means she chills out in her room and I think it's working for both of us.
At least now I don't have to tip toe around the house with the fear of waking her up.
so yes, I'm still alive...though not blogging as vigorously as I did during those glorious nap days, but all is well and I'm liking this new phase.
It just took a bit of time to get used to.
but back to the glogg....so good.
I think I want my next vacation to be in Sweden.
But I'm sure Ikea will be the closest thing I'll get to Stockholm.
At least they sell the glogg mix there.

leaves are falling

I must confess I haven't really been feeling very bloggish these past few weeks.
Kind of ironic seeing as it's "blogging month".
Who came up with that anyhow?
Things are good though, and life is sweet.
A few random ( a.k.a.boring) things going on in my life:

~decided to chop off all my hair. no more ponytails. short and sassy.
I guess I am happy with the cut, it's been quite a few years since it was this short, but I'm digging it.
I feel neat and tidy.
Spiffy in a 1950's housewife kind of way. especially since these are everywhere and I love to accessorize.
Though I was a tad concerned this morning when Lulu said I looked a bit like a "guy".
hmmmm....not exactly the look I was going for...
oh well.

~my parents are travelling through Italy and not only am I jealous, but I'm really starting to miss them.
I would have laughed hysterically if someone told me that I would miss my parents after they had been gone only a couple of weeks back during those horrible teenaged years.
my how things change.
It's not that I see them that often, but I really miss just picking up the phone most days and having a chat with my mom.
I'm so glad they are having fun and I wish them well, but I am looking forward when they get back.
and man do I wish I was somewhere in Tuscany at the moment.
hell I would even be happy to go to College St. (little Italy) for dinner.

~ after years of scrubbing my own toilets I finally caved and agreed to get a cleaning service once a week.
Big daddy claims it is more of a marriage saver than just someone to clean the pee off of the floor.
I must say it's a nice treat and I was starting to get used to the idea of coming home every Monday afternoon to a spotless house.
This is so hard for me being the neat freak that I am (and I'm also super frugal) but I guess big daddy was right and it is a good thing.
only bummer is that yesterday when I got home, the bathroom floor was ruined with some harsh chemical spill on the new heated marble bathroom floor.
ummm- remember the part about being careful not to use anything but Method and all natural cleaners in the bathroom????
so now we have to get the floors redone.
which totally sucks.
I also feel really bad for the girl who does our cleaning. I just hope she doesn't lose her job.
maybe I should go back to being the main pot washer/ bottle scrubber around here.
or not.

~okay this is going to sound so monotonous but Lulu is so bloody sweet these days.
I feel like we have turned a corner and she is being soooo good.
almost no meltdowns or temper tantrums. I can actually reason with her. gasp!
I have to say she is so smart as well.
I am amazed at how well she speaks.
Not to brag...but how can I not? But she seriously speaks as well as any four year old at the park.
yet she is still only two and a half.
I know I know...I shouldn't compare.
She definitely has the gift of gab.
which is wonderful, but hopefully won't land her next to the teacher's desk like it did for me when I was a kid.
only time will tell.
Now if we could only get her to stop coming into our room every-single night at 2 a.m.
argh...

~ I have to say, there are many times that I wished I lived in the States. (especially when it comes to Target and J.Crew ;)However, November is not one of those times.
How do ya'll deal with thanksgiving AND Christmas so close together?
Flipping through all my favourite food mags and it's turkey turkey everywhere.
Which is awesome, except that you have to do the whole thing all over again in a few short weeks.
or maybe this isn't such a bad thing.
Is it?
any thoughts?

~speaking of the holidays...each weekend seems to be booking up as we get closer to the holiday season.
There are so many fantastic things going on around town. and now that Lulu is at an age where she really gets it, I can hardly wait to take her to all the festivities happening from now until Jan 01.
we might even try to brave the Santa parade this weekend...
Only every time Lulu sees Christmas decorations in a store she sais "mommy it not Christmas yet, it not cold yet! there's no snow!"
True. but I'm sure that will change soon.
In the mean time I'm happy to deck the halls while raking the leaves.

~T.V. couldn't not mention the idiot box seeing as this is where I seem to find myself more evenings than I care to reveal.
However I will share a few of my favourite guilty pleasures.
Prison Break. Last night's season finale did not disappoint. but who the hell is "the company??"
30 Rock. okay could this show be any funnier? The green episode last week was one I had to watch twice. hilarious.
The Office. Always funny and I can't get enough of Dwight.
Top Chef~ I'm a food network junkie, this show is one of my favs at the moment. Well that and The Heat and Fink.
I wish I had teachers like this guy when I was in high-school.
Lucky kids.
Oh and Jamie's Chef was a bit of a tear jerker too.
Big daddy loves when I watch Giada's Everyday italian.
is it me or do her tops keep getting lower and lower cut?
Then again, if ya got it- why not?
how does she stay that skinny while eating all that Pasta??
Dirty sexy Money. Lovin' it. it's like a modern Dallas only everyone has great hair.
Then again remember when everyone wanted hair like Krystle Carrington?
I can't remember the last time I watched a movie. any suggestions?

so that's about it for me.
Nothing too wild and crazy happening, just enjoying a nice November groove.

losin' my religion

It's a little intimidating writing about topics like politics or religion.
I don't ever want to offend or piss off any of the people who might be reading my blog.
But I gotta keep it real right?
so today's sermon is all about what religion means to me.
I'm a bit of a recovering catholic.
Spent my childhood going to church at least once a week sometimes even twice.
(went to a catholic grade school) my parents were both taught by nuns and priests.
My brother was an alter boy.
I fooled around with several alter boys.
you know what they say about catholic school girls ;
Eventually I convinced my parents to let me go to a public High school. whew.
One of the first classes I enrolled in was a world religions class.
Our big project for the year was to attend ten different "types" of services throughout the semester and choose one, and write an essay about that particular religion, and have a guest speaker come in to talk to the class.
Loved it and it was one of the few classes that I actually got a really good grade in.
One girl even got a Wicca priestess to come into the class and talk about paganism.
For me church was always something that felt forced upon me.
Unnatural.
all that standing, kneeling, sitting repeat a dozen or so more times.
It was always chaos trying to get ready on a Sunday in time and dressed appropriately.
I often felt like falling asleep and had no idea what the prayers were all about.
I dreaded going to confession. Sitting in a scary dark closet like room talking to a man behind a curtain thinking up "sins" seemed ludicrous to me.
not to mention just plain creepy.
by the time mass was over I was starving- as we "fasted" before hand each week.
What can I say my parents did what they knew growing up.
Eventually we stopped going as teenagers.
save for the holidays.
alleluia!
fast forward twenty years.
Haven't been to church aside from travelling to look at cathedrals and the odd wedding.
Married to a Jewish man.
when it comes to religion I'm not really sure where I fit in anymore.
I love celebrating all the Jewish holidays and I often get more enthusiastic about them than Big daddy does.
I just identify with the sense of ritual and tradition.
I've been to synagogue a couple of times.
It was interesting but not for me.
I chose not to convert.
So where does this leave me?
Do we need to "belong" to a religious group in order to be spiritual?
I don't think so.
But it is kind of nice.
So when a friend of mine (hi c) was singing a solo in a United Church Choir on Sunday I decided to go.
I took Lulu with me as Big Daddy was away for the weekend.
I have to say it was such a lovely experience.
The singing was beautiful.
Lulu was fascinated and was well behaved and sat listening quietly.
It was peaceful looking at the sunlight streaming in through the stained glass.
The sermon was interesting and relevant.
Overall a really nice way to spend a Sunday morning.
I may not go every Sunday, but I'll definitely go back again (especially to hear my friend C sing...what a beautiful voice!!)
It's probably good for Lulu to experience all kinds of worship.
We have friends that are Muslim, Jewish, Christian, Hindu and Buddhist and atheist.
Mormon- not so much. No offense.
I'm so happy that we can all sit together and share our ideas and beliefs.
how lucky am I that I live in a country where this is not only possible but common practice?

amen.

ray of sunshine

Today was the first time in a while that Lulu and I went for a long walk outside on a beautiful sunny fall day and were not in a hurry or running errands.
somehow the autumn seems to have escaped me this year.
fortunately mother nature has taken her time with the cooler temps and colourful leaves so there is plenty to enjoy hopefully for a few more weeks.
it felt so nice to just walk and breathe. deeply. (and clearly without congestion) in what feels like a long while.
It's amazing how just taking several deep breaths can help restore the soul.
I can't believe how quickly September and October slipped by.
Two of my favourite months on the calendar were spent running around like a crazy woman and not actually having a chance to embrace and enjoy them.
Life can feel so hectic at times.
I honestly don't know how mothers with more than one child do it.
Now that Lulu is feeling better I feel like I can take a deep sigh of relief and relax and start enjoying life a bit more.
speaking of sunshine.
while out for dinner last night we set Lulu up with her usual crayons and paper and she drew a perfect yellow sunshine, rays and all. Big daddy and I were so proud watching her meticulously draw. she loved the praise, then announced that "I an artist"
That a girl. getting in touch with her creative side.
she really does love drawing and painting (then again, what kid doesn't?)
I feel like a broken record, but man, she is just over the top cute these days.
And could she be more affectionate? countless kisses and hugs all day long.
she melts my heart.
so focused.
so adorable.
so lulu.

came down the gutter....

on a piece of bread & butter......
I'll spare you the details, but needless to say the plague that entered our house two weeks ago finally decided to make a dramatic exit on Halloween.
sheesh.
not fun at all.
my poor little Zebra was only allowed to eat white rice, white bread and bananas all day.
no candy.
she was a good sport though and was all smiles as per usual.
I'm also finally feeling a little bit better after a really bad cold & flu and also very very relieved that a rather involved job I was working on is finished.
It was fun to work on, but a bit challenging while caring for my sick little gal.
that's life as a mom though.
I'm very glad that it's November.
nothing too crazy happening, and hopefully we can spend some quality time at home together as a family getting warm and cozy.
oh and finally catching up on reading my favourite blogs.
it's been a while, looking forward to seeing what everyone has been up to.