be in the moment

The other day Lulu & I were walking hand in hand down the street, and bunch of teenage girls walked past us.
Of course they were all wearing the ubiquitous SHORT shorts, tank tops with bra straps showing, long straightened hair, flip flops or moccasins, talking extra loud about who knows what and all in their own little teenage bubble.
shudder...

I wistfully said to Lulu "one day you won't want to hold my hand in public and maybe you won't even want to hang out with me all the time...sniff sniff..."
She then said to me
"awe mommy, don't worry about tomorrow, just think about today and enjoy every minute of me while I'm six"
"besides, I would never wear shorts that short!"
not only is she profound, she's a mind reader as well.

doggie style

While at the park a few weeks ago, Lulu spotted two dogs..ahem...doing the ol' mommy & daddy dog dance, if ya know what I mean.
They were really going at it and kind of drawing quite a bit of attention.
Big daddy & I started to try and distract her by pointing at things in the opposite direction.
"look sweetie, that cloud looks just like a unicorn!"
and
"is that a cardinal I see in that tree over there?"
Because I am soooo not ready for that conversation.
But she was too quick for us.
She spotted the doggie porn despite our best efforts.
Then she says "look mommy, that big doggy is giving that little doggie a piggy back ride!"
"Yes sweetie, that's exactly what they are doing!"
whew.
Priceless..

a mouse in the house

Ahh another year of ballet has come to a close.
Lulu was fantastic in her recital and really seemed to be having so much fun up on stage.
I was so proud of her- as always.

But I have to say, I am happy that most of her fall/winter programs are all almost finished (except baseball & piano).
The weeks just seem to fly by chauffeuring her from one thing to another, and I am really ready for a reprieve from it all.
Bring on Summer Camp..
I haven't had two seconds to sit down and sort out my thoughts the past few months, never mind trying to come up with a clever post.
I honestly don't know how full time working mothers with more than one child cope.
Honestly.
Then again, I probably bring it all on myself being the perfectionist-o.c.d crazeoid that I am.
Note to self- R.E.L.A.X....
and like I said now that all the activities for Lulu are winding down, I might just get the chance.

a good egg

What a week.
We celebrated Passover, Easter AND Lulu's 6th birthday.
Lulu was beyond excited and it was so sweet to see.
You forget as an adult what it really feels like to be so excited about something.
And no, cracking open a bottle of red wine on a Friday night doesn't really count...
But seriously, I can't remember the last time I was really & truly excited about anything.
You sort of lose that kind of feeling as you get older after you pass all of life's big milestones.
I love being able to live vicariously though Lulu now though.
With the exception of getting up at the crack of dawn to see what the Easter bunny brought her.
Wish she had just slept past 6 a.m....ouch...

Anyhow, we brought nine of her friends for lunch on Saturday and then to see the movie HOP.
It was so much fun and so cute watching Lulu with all her little girlfriends.
It was also Lulu's first time at the movies.
She's been to lots of live theatre and musical events, but never to an actual movie.
Needless to say, she was pretty thrilled with her birthday party.
Easter was lots of fun as well and I don't even want to think about how much chocolate was consumed.
And that's just me I'm talking about...

So now here I am, on a rainy Tuesday reflecting on the past week and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I now have a six year old daughter.
I say it every year, but how did a year fly by so quickly?
It feels like just yesterday we were new parents and flying by the seat of our pants.
Okay- still are...but with six more years experience and a few more gray hairs to prove it.
I couldn't be more proud of Lulu and how much she has grown over the past year.
She is really her own person and is so aware of the world around her.
She is very concerned about recycling, the environment, and being a "good citizen" her words.
She didn't really ask for "stuff" for her birthday, she never really does.
She's not into lots of toys or material objects, she's still the most content with blank paper, markers and scissors.
That in it self makes me so happy.
This morning she was singing "Vincent" by Don McLean because of a new book that she got a few weeks ago all about Vincent Van Gogh.
She was so concerned about the fact that he cut off his ear, and said quote "maybe he just had too many things in his head that he wanted to paint and felt like he couldn't get them all on the canvas, so he felt like if he cut of his ear he would feel better".
I did mention she just turned six right?
Anyhow I could go on forever about all the profound (or at least to me) things Lulu says each day but I won't.
I will say that I love her even more than I did yesterday, which I didn't think was possible.
I look forward to seeing the young woman she will one day become, because I am certain she will be a "good citizen" without a doubt.
But I hope time just slows down a little so I can continue to hold her small hand while walking her to school.
Answering her the 100th time each day when she calls me mama.
And being able to read stories to her and teach her about new and exciting things, just as she teaches me new things each day.
There really is no greater gift than that.
So happy 6th birthday sweet Lulu.
I love you more than all the stars in the sky...

mommy xoxo

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflecting Vincent's eyes of China blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hands

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one as
beautiful as you

Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
A silver thorn on a bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

Ommmm

A few weeks ago we were walking by a new yoga studio in our neighbourhood and I noticed that they offer Family Yoga Classes.
From a very early age Lulu has always shown an interest in yoga.
I'm not totally sure where that comes from as I really don't practice yoga on a regular basis.
There has been many a morning that I have found her in her bedroom doing sun salutations on her blankie.
I kid you not.

As for me, the past few years I can count on one hand how many times I've been to a class.
Not that I don't like Yoga, it's just that for the past several years I've been mildly obsessed with kickboxing and weight/cardio training.
Yoga, not so much.
I love the adrenaline rush I get from high intensity classes and I love being able to move to music and work up a good sweat.
I also love the "me time" and I really find it helps burn off stress.
Above all, I love the good friends I've made and look forward to the laughs and female camaraderie that I get from being a part of an all women's gym.
Okay that... and the instructor isn't too hard on the eyes either.

That being said, I think I'm hitting a bit of a work-out plateau.
I'm averaging between 4-6 hours of high intensity workouts per week and I'm really not seeing any noticeable results.
Now my main reason for exercise isn't really just all about changing my physical appearance.
Because let's face it, regardless of how many classes I do, that muffin top is here to stay.
I know my genetics.
and maybe I also have a wee addiction to 2 bite brownies.
mmm just finished one right now in fact.
But whatever, I still love kicking it each week, jelly belly and all.

What I'm not loving is the aches and pains I feel ALL the time.
I think I have actually been pushing myself too hard and I'm not really sure that's a good thing.
So maybe it's time for a change?

Anyhow long story short, Lulu asked me if we could do a yoga class together.
So we did.
I skipped my beloved 2 hour Saturday morning kick-boxing class and did the downward dog with my little lady.
And I have to say, I'm so glad that I did.
We had so much fun and I can't believe that yoga studios all over the city don't offer family yoga classes.
Such a great thing for kids to be involved in.
It reminded me how much I enjoy yoga and also how badly I needed a good stretch.
Not to mention it's still a good workout, but just in a different way.
We didn't really do any serious deep breathing or anything like that- it was with 5-10 year olds after-all, but it was so nice to move and mostly to feel so connected to Lulu.
I'm so glad that she asked me to take her to a class.
I might just have to make it a regular Saturday morning thing.
Change is a good thing.

Now does anyone happen to know of any yoga studios with cute male instructors?
Just curious...
Namaste.

Treehouse

Now these are Downtown Condos that I approve of.

It's about time the city started planting trees, rather than cutting them all down.
Those birds on Bloor St. will hopefully have some fancy new digs soon.
Glad to see that the city also has a sense of humor.
Though I'm sure all the retailers in Yorkville didn't find the two year construction very funny.

The waiting game

Today someone very important to me is going to have a biopsy done.
Finally...after four very long weeks of waiting.
I cannot even imagine how scared she must be.
After being in remission for over twenty years I pray that this is not a relapse.
She is in my thoughts and in my heart today...as she is every day..

the art of saying no.

hide and go freeze

I really have been making a concerted effort to refrain from talking (aka-bitching) about the weather.
I'm trying to look on the bright side.
It's bright out.
Really bright.
Plenty-o sunshine.
But regardless of all that vitamin D, I'm still freezing my buns off.
I'm so tired of wearing my salt stained boots and big black puffy (mom uniform) coat.
Bring on the cloudy rainy days so I can crack out my hunters and black Lululemon rain (other mom uniform) coat.
I'll take it over this arctic nonsense.
How do they cope in Inuvik? or worse...Winnipeg?
Speaking of coats, I'm so glad that I got Lulu a full length winter coat this year.
It's so much easier to deal with than snow pants everyday.
But as cute as it looks on her, I have to say, I'm getting a bit tired of that too.
Fingers crossed that it warms up soon, as her one and only pair of winter boots are almost at their expiration date as well.
Crazy all the growing that these little creatures manage to do in one season.

So spring if you're listening..Come out come out where ever you are...

For the Love of Blog

Lately I've been asking myself why continue blogging?
When I started this blog over 5 years ago, (wow time really flies when you are rambling on about yourself) the blogging community was all so new and exciting.
These days everyone and not only their mother, but even their grandmothers have blogs.
The blogs I used to turn to for my daily fix of unabashed honesty and most often comedy, have become a ghost of what they once were.
No longer anonymous, most of the blogs I used to frequent are so candy coated and self censoring that I find them not worth the read.

I miss the old days, all that honesty and self deprecation, not to mention the outlets for ranting about the ups and often downs of domestic life.
Now when I read the majority of blogs, it seems as though everyone is ultra happy effortlessly juggling careers, motherhood and relationships.
They all seem to be growing their own vegetables, sewing their kids clothes by hand, redecorating their house seasonally (if not weekly in some extreme cases) shopping for fabulous- yet never mainstream (g-d forbid) fashionable clothes, hunting for hard to find vintage fabric and antiques and baking delicious organic food from scratch everyday.
Yet they still seem to find the time to read amazing literature, take fabulous trips and lest I forget, having the time to document it all on their amazingly stylish blogs.

Don't get me wrong, I admire and am inspired by some of these blogs.
But reading them can really make a gal feel like a major underachiever.
I'm no slouch, in fact I'm a pretty go go go kind of person, and try my best to be slightly above mediocre at the best of times;
So I just can't fathom how some of these, most often women, seem to have lives like this.
Or do they really?
Is it all a big facade?
And more importantly, when do they find the time to watch quality shows like The Bachelor, Top Chef and Hoarders?

Anyhow, what I'm getting at is, I still like blogging.
I have yet to change my template or the look of my blog.
I'm a creature of habit, what can I say?
I'm also aware that big daddy has spilled the beans and this blog is no longer as anonymous as it once was.
Hi Julie, I know you're lurking out there somewhere. Busted.
Not to mention almost every member of my gym.
I know, I know I haven't been since last Thursday, giving the old bod a bit of a break this week.
Be back soon I promise.
Nothing like being outed while half naked in the change room.
Yup, that's me The Petite Gourmand.
So much for anonymity.

I don't visit other blogs like I used to so I really don't get comments the way I once did.
That part I do kind of miss, to be honest.
But for those that do take the time to stop by and say hello, I am very grateful.
Truth be told I really don't have the time nor the inclination to put more energy into generating more "readers".
I don't really write for a specific audience.
I do it for me.
And to keep a bit of a journal on my (our) lives.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
Fortunately for us, it has been mostly good over the past few years.
I know that some day I will be very grateful that I did.
And I hope that when I look back, I can be proud that I kept things real.

Anyhow I better run, I have chicken to feed, a sweater to knit, a marathon to train for, a conference to attend, a fabulous party to plan, a Russian literature class to study for and oh I almost forgot, a band to form.
Since I just taught myself how to play the piano, harmonica and the banjo last week....